The worst thing about homelessness is the boredom. At least, if you're a human the boredom is the worst part. I assume that if you're a Nightmare with weakness and have to eat, drink and sleep then you'd have other issues beyond just being bored. I do need to sleep, but I've never wanted food in my life.
Most of my days are spent walking around town, occasionally working for whoever will pay me. I don't make enough to pay rent on any of the places nearby, so I just buy cheap collectibles from the shops around town. They're meant to give humans things to put in their homes, if they have them, but I just put them in the temple when I sleep at night. I like looking at my growing collection. I call it "the most valuable things in all of Estellia," because no other person values their collection as much as I do.
There's supposed to be a new law decreed tonight. Since I have nothing better to do, I may as well go and see it. I've heard rumors that they're taking steps to keep humans off the streets. That might be good, since I'm getting really sick of avoiding the guards. I know they're just trying to do their jobs, but I have nowhere else to go. I could go back home, in theory, but my parents haven't even tried to contact me since I left.
Granted, it's kind of difficult for humans to contact one another. The nightmares have these little devices in the dreamworld that work kind of like phones that they use to keep in contact in the dreamworld. Alex showed hers to me once and it was honestly pretty cool. In addition to making calls you could also contact people using text or locate your friends and relatives if they were in other dreamworlds. They can also do a bunch of other things apparently, but she wasn't willing to show me any of its other functions because she was afraid that I might steal it. No human would ever steal anything from a Monster no matter how desperate they were, but I think that if someone told me that being a nightmare would earn me one of those phone things I'd leap up to be tested. Sadly, that's not the case.
My parents don't have a phone, and I don't know what the phone number for the village was. I used to wander by Lady Greaves place to see if anyone had contacted me, but after about a month I stopped trying. Come to think of it, I don't think I got any calls even when I worked there. My parents, like the rest of the village, were only too happy to be rid of me.
The declaration's supposed to happen at sunset. The Nightmare's divide the days into hours, but humans rarely bother to keep track of the time beyond sunrise, sunset, and high noon. When you only need to work to pay taxes and keep a roof of some kind over your head, and you don't need to worry about taxes when you don't have a home, time is mostly meaningless.
There aren't that many humans in the square, and most of them seem to be homeless like me. You can tell because they haven't bathed in a while and their clothes have all been worn for too long. I suspect that the only reason they're here is because they're curious what this declaration could be. The Shadows almost never bother trying to enforce laws on us because we're spread out so much and we don't need much. I expect that if it weren't for the laws against public nudity nobody would even wear clothes, since freezing isn't much of an issue. Most humans don't like seeing one another naked even if they don't live in a house, so that rule's staying in place regardless of what Shadows think.
The speaker is currently getting his notes in place. I'm not sure he's trying to look like the Shadow God, who always wears a suit regardless of what he's doing, but that's who he reminds me of. I know most Shadows wear fancy clothes so they seem more authoritative then they actually are, but I've never seen anyone wear a suit when visiting the Human realm, including some I learned later were shadows. Is he the Shadow God? He looks to be about twenty-five, which I'm told is the age of the current incarnation of the Shadow God, but he doesn't really look like a God. By which I mean that he doesn't seem to be drawing any more power in then a regular High Nightmare would be.
"Greetings, Humankind. It is I, James Lughton, one of your four grand leaders."
Well, that settles it. He's a god. For reasons that no human has ever been told, the God's call themselves our "Grand Leaders". Which makes no sense, since they never actually lead us.
"I come from the City of Darkness to bring you a grand proclamation. I bring to you a new law that will greatly improve all of your lives."
Why are you telling us something that everyone knows? Nobody would be here if you weren't going to declare a new law we had to follow. Also, do the Shadows actually call their city the "City of Darkness", because it sounds like a name somebody came up with in a hurry, and then everyone after that kept it because nobody could think of a better name.
"I bring you a law that will clear up your streets and keep you safe from lawlessness and crime that permeates your very existence."
Everybody is mostly just confused. Most humans don't read enough to understand anything he says. I read a lot more than anybody else here, and I'm not even sure what he's saying. Is he saying that there's a lot of crime in the city? There is, but it's not like I, or anybody else for that matter, feels unsafe. I suppose the Nightmare's feel differently, but they're Nightmares, it's not like they can't defend themselves.
"From now on, all humans are required to be indoors at night."
Hold on. That makes no sense. I look around, but nobody seems to be asking what, to me, is the obvious question. Okay, I can do this, I already sleep most nights after all. I put my hand up. I don't know if this will get his attention, but it's how we asked questions when I was in school.
He turns to me and says, "Yes?"
"I'm not sure I understand. How can we all be indoors at night if most of us don't have a place to live? Most stores don't stay open past sun down and no one stays open all night."
"You'll just have to find a place to live then. It's not like finding jobs is difficult. All of you should be working anyway."
I don't know what to say. To any human, what he's saying is outrageous. Even back in the village, most people didn't have a house to themselves. They shared with their families. I knew one family of people who were only connected by a great-great-grandmother and they all lived in three rooms. Most of them didn't actually stay in that house either, but went to friend's houses or out of town whenever they could. Actually, why did so many people live in houses back home? I don't recall it being awful outside.
"The law will go into effect a week from today. After that point, if you're found outside past sundown you'll be thrown in prison. This concludes the declaration." He turns to the crowd and bows slowly, "May your sleep be pleasant and your dreams worry free."
We're humans. I'm the only one in this crowd who either sleeps or dreams.
I don't know why this new law bothers me. Yes, I'm homeless, but it's not like prison would be an awful place for me. I know the Nightmares force you to sleep in prison (it's the only way humans can really be punished after all), but I sleep so much anyway that I don't think it'd matter to me.
They could force me to head back to the village. At least, I've heard from some others that they're doing that to some humans who came here for work but then couldn't find a job. They say that the city isn't to provide charity to lazy humans. I don't get it. Most of us can't even sleep, and every human I know works whatever chance they get. There just isn't enough for people to do, or at least not enough jobs that most of us are able to do. I've heard that some Nightmares have jobs for humans that are willing to sleep and give them power, but no human, no matter how desperate, would ever take those sorts of jobs. Not even humans who sleep all the time anyways.
But recently, my Dreamworld dreams have become extremely intense. I don't think they're connected to the Nightmares, since I usually get them just after I go to sleep, but they become worse when Nightmares are searching for those of us trying to hide the fact that we're sleeping. With the new law, they're out every night, and I recently discovered that I don't always wake up before a guard spots me, which leads to a lot of people looking for you for a few days afterwards. I'm so incredibly grateful that my luck is holding up. I was worried that it wouldn't, but even though people keep spotting me, nobody has found me yet.
If the calendars in the library are correct, I've been in the city for almost a year. My eleventh birthday was almost a season ago. In the time I've been here I've had a job, lost a job, been spotted so many times I've lost count, done day work for a lot of people, and seen so many struggle to survive in a city where no one who's not a Nightmare worries about dying. You just need to avoid the fear that all the Nightmares evoke in humans, even when they don't mean to. But that's hard. It's almost impossibly hard. Even if you don't need to sleep, fear surrounds humanity. Fear of losing the home you and your family live in, fear of being thrown in jail for not paying your taxes, fear of reaching the end of your life and realizing that you did nothing meaningful.
It's even worse for me, even if I know how to live in the Dreamworld. I can't seem to figure out how Estellia, a place where dreams mean nothing, works for everybody who is able to stay awake. I can't figure how to get a job, let alone keep one. I don't know how to rent a house, or how much it would take to be able to afford one, and I don't know how I'm supposed to learn about these things. It's such common knowledge that nobody talks about it in books, even if humans aren't supposed to be the ones reading them.
What bothers me most are the voices I hear in my head, the ones telling me the Nightmares are getting away with what they're doing because I'm letting them. After all, every High Nightmare has to sleep on occasion, so any of them can be found in the Dreamworld, and any Nightmare in the Dreamworld is weak to lucidity. I've defeated enough of them to know this. I even defeated Alex once when her power started to consume her. Weirdly, she was profusely grateful that I did that.
I don't know how I can use lucidity to stop the Nightmares. I've tried praying in the temple. It works well for keeping Nightmares off my case and keeping the stores I want open, but it's not helping to get rid of this law. I've tried dreaming, both awake and asleep, which does sometimes help me find work to pass the time or to get new books in the library, but it's not making the Nightmares change their minds about us. I've thought about what else to do, and all I can think of is visiting the City of Darkness, the one in the Dreamworld, and defeating the Shadow God. Then they'll have to listen to me and repeal this awful law.
People describe the Infinite as being a place of nothingness, but in my opinion nothing could be further from the truth. It is, after all, where all souls are born and where they'll someday die. I'm told that birth and death don't work the same for souls as they do for humans, since time isn't a thing in the Infinite, but that's how I picture it. I think that a better way to describe the Infinite is as a place where nothing and everything exist simultaneously, a place where everything exists but nothing is real. It's a place devoid of meaning, and the point of us is to give it meaning by living our lives. That's how I see the humans who live in Dreamworlds going about their lives. The Nightmares may be the ones building the Dreamworlds, but we're the ones who give it meaning.
Looking at the City of Darkness, I don't think any humans live here at all. It's real, insofar as any Dreamworld is real, but nothing about it was built with meaning in mind. For one thing, all of the buildings look almost identical. They look almost identical in the Human City as well, but at least in the human city most of the buildings look worn down or broken in spots. I know it's a sign that nobody has enough money to make repairs, but at least it looks like a city people actually live in. To be fair, this is a Dreamworld, not a real place, so maybe the real place looks a bit more lived in.
Something I find more troubling is the lack of Starlight. Almost every Dreamworld has stars in it, and a few even have constellations. This Dreamworld has nothing but a black sky. It makes this place feel even more empty then it already does.
On the ground, things seem worse. There are people, and from a distance some are even talking, but up close they don’t seem to have much to say to one another. Or any facial expressions at all. Are they even real people, or are they just some sort of illusion?
"Excuse me, do you know where I can find James Lughton?" I ask.
They look at me and say, "I don't know you." Then they don't say anything else.
This is horrible, and not only because I have no idea where the Shadow God is. Why would somebody build a Dreamworld without Humans? The fairyland was built around humans, and even the heartland has humans living in towns. This place, despite being a city, feels empty. I walk around, looking for anything that might point me in the direction of the Shadow God, cause the sooner I can leave this place the happier I'll be. Well, maybe it's better to say that I'll be less depressed.
There's nothing in this city. I know a lot of people dislike adds, since nobody can buy anything anyway, but at least the Human city has adds, and there's graffiti on a lot of buildings. You'll also see sculptures people have built, or drawings on the street made by children with chalk. Sometimes you'll even see people belting out songs or playing instruments for some money to spend on alcohol, which every adult I know drinks but children aren't allowed to even touch. If you look at the street you'll see the butts of the various kinds of joints people smoke, both officially and unofficially. None of that's here. It's a city of buildings, but it doesn't feel like anyone lives here. It could be an artistic decision I guess, but I don't know what it accomplishes. Who would be scared of a city that looks perfect but feels absolutely empty?
"Attention all citizens. I've just received word that a Human has entered our perfect city. If you have any information, please come to the Marlen square to register your complaint."
They call this place "our perfect city"? What is wrong with these people?
I guess I could head to Marlen square, wherever that is. It wouldn't surprise me if the God of Shadows himself was there somehow. If I find him, I'll be able to fight him.
There aren't any street signs in the human city. Supposedly the streets have names, but if they do I never learned any of them. Here, all the streets have names, and you can find them on signs in the intersections. The reason for this is that Nightmares, unlike humans, use things like cars to help them move around more easily. Humans can ride in cars, but no human would ever get enough money to own one. If you want to move between cities, you need a bus ticket. While I do wish to leave the human city someday, I never want to ride a bus ever again.
I don't really know where I'm going, so I draw out a map to where Marlen square is in my head and then follow it. I don't know if the route I picked out is how you're supposed to get to the square from where I am, but I discovered a long time ago that if I'm in a dream world and I try to dream like I'm awake, I'll change the Dreamworld I'm in to match it. It's a huge boon when escaping nightmares, but it's not much use otherwise.
By the time I reach the square I'm exhausted. I don't know if it's supposed to be a long way from where I am, but I tend to make the routes between places longer then I might otherwise need them to be. That way it feels more real and less wrong, if that makes sense.
The square, like the rest of the city, is flawless, but that just makes it feel more wrong. It has everything you might expect of a town or city square; fountains, parks, trees, but there all the plainest versions of those things. Think of what you would put in a park if someone told you to put a fountain there and gave you no further instructions and you'll get an idea of what it looks like. In front of the generic fountain, there's a table. Nobody is at the table, which looks like they got it from a secondhand store. I should know, if my parents bought me anything it came from either a secondhand store or was a donation from one of our neighbors.
I assume the table is where one can go to register complaints. I don't see how you do that, since there's nothing on it at all. Wait, did they put this here to lure me into the square so they could trap me in a Dreamworld dream?
"Hello there."
I guess that answers my question. I turn and see exactly who I was hoping to see.
The Shadow's God.
"I'd ask what a human is doing in my Dreamworld, but I suppose the answer is obvious. You're trying to avoid making any contributions to Estellia's survival, aren't you?
I have so many questions right now. Is this entire city just the Dreamworld of the Shadow God. If it is, why did he make it so plain and lifeless? Do Shadows pick their gods based on whether or not they lack any meaningful personality? Right now, I have to stay focused. My goal is to ruin him so he'll repeal the law.
"I'm a human. My goal is to contribute as little to the Nightmares as possible. I don't care about the greater good of Estellia. It's not my job to care. My job now is to keep Nightmares from throwing us all in prison because they refuse to give us enough work to do. If that means I have to kill you, I will stop at nothing to accomplish that."
He looks annoyed. "You say that your goal is to contribute nothing. Yet you dare to complain that I'm doing something to make life in your pathetic city a little less awful? Do you not realize that I could have you killed, for real, before you have a chance to wake up? Did you hear that story about the human who could go lucid and take out High Nightmares without thinking about it and assume that gave you the right to complain to a God who did something you didn't like?"
"All humans can go lucid. We just know that you don't want us to so we try not to upset you. You can't blame me for wanting to fight when things don't go my way. That's all you Nightmares ever do, complain when we don't do what you want us to do. You complain that we do nothing, but you never do anything to convince us that we should behave otherwise."
Naturally he attacks me. All Nightmares have attacks and special skills for taking each other on in fights. I don't know what any of them are, and I can't tell the difference between them even up close. I've discovered, through multiple fights with Nightmares hoping for an easy source of power, that if tell myself that they don't hurt they don't do any damage most of the time. I think it helps that the attacks use power and no Nightmare I've met wants me to have any power of my own.
The attack ends, but the power still surround me like a dark cloud. I remind it that I can't become a Nightmare, and no human is supposed to draw power anyway, so it had better leave me alone. I picture starlight in my mind, starlight so blinding that it cuts through your very existence. I pick up my necklace, hold it over my head, and fill it with starlight.
You don't fight Nightmares. You destroy them before they hurt you.
Light engulfs both of us. The difference is that I'm used to the feeling that everything's ended for a brief moment in time. He isn't. When the light goes away, he vanishes with it.
"Let it be known," I say to the spot where he was standing, "That this will be your fate every night until you let us sleep where we want to again. We humans are not your playthings. Without us, you would not be able to survive."
As soon as I finish saying that, I wake up. The sun isn't yet up, but I can feel dawn approaching. I'm not usually a morning person, but strangely I'm not that sleepy. Something I've noticed is that I seem to need less sleep if I'm fighting off Nightmares. Maybe channeling starlight helps.
It's been a month since I fought the Shadow God. The law was repealed a day after I woke up that morning. I'm told the process usually takes a lot longer, but they decided to rush it since they were worried about people getting hurt.
At least, that's what they tell us.
What happened was that they increased the number of Guards in the City tenfold. It became much harder to sleep then it used to be. It was so bad that I had to stay awake for nearly four days, and started having visions of the Shadow God making lucidity illegal and killing all humans who fought back. I woke up in front of a flower shop. The guards went away after that. I want to pretend that they were afraid of me, but the truth is I don't know what happened.
Life's gone back to normal. It sucks, but at least I don't have to worry about being sent home now. I confess, I'd forgotten what it was like to not be allowed to sleep every night. My parents kept trying to force me to stay awake, thinking I'd eventually be able to stay awake all the time like they did. That I couldn't master that skill is most of the reason they sent me away.
One thing I keep wondering is why the Shadow God disappeared after I engulfed him in light. I know he's a shadow, and according to the dictionary shadow once was the darkness projected by humans when they blocked a light source. Maybe he can only live in darkness. But every Nightmare I've fought has also disappeared when I use my necklace to channel light. Most of the time I don't even need to do that to beat them. I always thought it was because I was lucky enough to only encounter Nightmares any human could beat easily. After all, we've all heard of humans who can fight back against Nightmares even if they have no power of their own. Now, though, I wonder if some of them were actually the kind of Nightmares I'd be afraid of if I could still see Nightmare forms. Could it be I've turned into the kind of human most Nightmares say their terrified of meeting?
No comments:
Post a Comment