The Dreamer

      I don't remember my mother. 

     It's been a long time since I left Estellia for good, even longer since I gained enough power to manipulate all of its key components individually. I live in my temple now, dedicated to the Dreamworld and the stars in the night sky, connected to every part of the world that I'm now in charge of, a world on the fringes of what other Dreamers have built. Most of my life happens in my head. Fragments of Memories that happened, or did not, depending on whether or not  I believe them to be real. I believe that my mother and father hated me for my weakness, trapping me in an endless slumber, a nightmare I could not wake up from. I believe that I encountered all four of our Gods, fought them off, won endless power over an endless world, then ascended so they could never have control over me. I believe that somewhere, somehow, Estellia is going on as it always did, without me in it, as my predecessor would have wanted it. I also believe in a mother who looked after me and loved me as a child, a father who taught me about the stars and their meanings, a village who loved the lost child in their midst. I truly do not remember the truth. Too much of my life has been spent wandering the stars in my Dreams. 

    The only thing that I do remember is Estellia's Gods, though I don't remember how I first learned about them. Maybe, as a little girl, my mother told me in a story that, "There are four races of Nightmare: Shadow, Fairy, Monster, and Sorcerer. Each representing a fear of the Dreamer. Shadows represent those who live in the darkness and operate in the unseen and unknown. They hold all of the positions that grant one power automatically. Fairies represent unrestrained fun, the kind that pulls you in and will not let you go. It is said that they harm no one, but time after time humans have gone into their carnival and found they could not leave no matter how badly they wanted to. Monsters represent the things we must keep hidden, such as weakness and cruelty. Despite their name, they are not truly evil, merely incredibly dangerous. Sorcerers represent unchangeable truths, a world that cannot be believed in because it is always there, so it must instead be dealt with, though I'm told that they decide what can and can't be changed themselves. Do not hope to become one and escape the pain they inflict on us. Hope instead that you will one day be strong enough to fight back. But you cannot fight all of them, and there are four Nightmare's that you could never hope to defeat. They are our gods. They are worshiped, but also feared, and their power flows through their avatars into each of their domains. Do not take them lightly. Or else they will kill you where you stand."

      Perhaps that was what happened. I don't know. I do remember defeating them, as all Dreamers must in order to ascend. I do remember the names of their avatars; James, Emily, Alex, Nina. I fought all of them. Alex was the strongest, James the weakest, and I don't remember much other than them coming together to try and force me back into an endless slumber, but whether that was because they saw me as a human or a Dreamer is beyond my recollection. 

The Realm of Souls

    I don't know what souls actually look like. Most books don't bring up souls, and those that do say that only the most powerful Nightmares can see their true form. I've heard many theories. Some say they're meant to be animals, non-human creatures that lack any consciousness. Some say they resemble a sea of light, tainted by poisonous darkness. I've always pictured them as stars, pouring light throughout the Infinite, giving it shape and meaning. 

   Souls are everything to Dreamworlds. All you see from far away is the soul that powers it, but as you get closer you become engulfed in the darkness the Nightmares wield, the power they use to denote who is strong and who is week. When you get close enough, you see a world that looks real, but isn't. It's an illusion of what the waking world is, but if you aren't careful, it can fool you into thinking that it is real. That's when the Nightmare's frighten, anger, and sadden you, which will cause you to produce more power, that they then use to create other, stronger Dreamworlds.

   That's what I've read about, in books I can only find in the Temple library. Since they are of the temple, I don't know how much of what I've read is true, but it reflects the reality I see when I travel through the Infinite, night after night, looking for the one person who will allow me to stay away the way every other human does effortlessly. 

   But sometimes, you want to know what a world will look like before you enter it, what the heart of a Dreamworld really is. That's what The Realm of Souls is for. It allows me to look into a Dreamworld, and see what was put there, without traveling to it. 

   The four brightest lights represent the four realms the Nightmares control, all of which have their own corresponding Dreamworld. You would think they're different colors, but that's not really true. The shadow realm is, as you might expect, shadowy and dark. The Sorcerer realm is brighter than the sun, which makes sense for magic users, but it's also blue, instead of the white you would think it would be. You would  also think that the Fairy realm is showy, while the Monster realm is muted, but it's actually the other way around. The monster Realm looks like a rainbow got condensed into a marble, and while the Fairy realm is the same idea, it's much more muted and the colors move much more slowly. I can't help but wonder if that means the Fairies world isn't as wonderful as they claim it to be. 

    I don't really care about the Nightmare Realms, since I can't control them anyway. I need to find the soul of my village, which I know is here somewhere because I looked for it the night I left home. It's so small it's practically invisible, and I swear it's somehow gotten dimmer since I last saw it. But it's here.

   I reach out to grab it, and hold it in my hands. I don't know much about charters, but I do know more power helps a village or city survive power grabs by Nightmares. I don't have power of my own, but when I'm lucid power always does what I ask it to do. I pull it into the soul, and I will the soul to get brighter to compensate. I wait, then it reaches the appropriate brightness, so I set it free to wander through the Infinite once more. 

    I can't guarantee that's actually doing anything, but I expect they wouldn't want me to be doing anything anyway. I'm the worst human alive, after all. 

Life Back Home

    It's summer, the time of my twelfth birthday. I've been in the City for a little over two years now. In that time, nothing much has changed. For everyone else, that is. Things have changed a lot for me.

   I wander down the streets, looking for work, or a way to pass the time. Anything. That's when I see a woman I knew back in the village. Well, not so much knew, as nobody really talked to me back home, but she knew my parents and I knew her name. Linda, I believe it was.

  I'm about to walk past her, since I don't want to tell her that I lost the job my parents got for me. One advantage of not being able to call them is that they don't have to know just how little they prepared me for life outside of their house. For once, my luck doesn't hold up, and I hear her call my name.

  I glance at her, which she apparently takes as an invitation to approach me. "Where have you been? I couldn't find you at Lady Greaves. Have you been playing hooky?" 

  "I lost that job almost two years ago." I say. 

  I don't know what the expression on her face means. To be honest, I hate that people expect you to be able to read them, because that's something I've never been able to do. I think it's supposed to be shock, but it could be anger or sadness for all I know. Given that she, like the rest of the village, hated me, I'm willing to bet it's anger.

  "What do you want?" I ask. I'm not in the mood to deal with her, or anyone else for that matter. 

  "Why didn't you call your parents?" She asks.

  "Does that have anything to do with why you came here?" I ask. 

  "Actually, yes. The village is running out of money. I was hoping you would be able to spare some."

  "Why didn't you say so?" I say, reaching into my pants pocket. I don’t have a lot on me, though.

  "Where did you get the money for those clothes?" Linda asks.

  "Why do you care?" I say. 

  "I thought that you didn’t have a job." She says.

  "Look, do you want this or not?" I say, holding out my handful of money.

  She snatches it, counts it and declares, "This isn't nearly enough. Have you just been frittering everything on yourself this entire time?"

   "My parents never even game me a number to call them with. I had no idea you needed money until right this second." I say. 

   She looks at me, definitely angry, "I knew we should have kicked you out." She says.

   "I thought you already had." I say, turning to walk away.

   

     Later that day, I think over what happened. I've read about the charters villages and towns need to have with the ruling Nightmares, Shadows and Sorcerers mainly, in order to stay alive. It's tied up to the amount of power we use. I don't really understand the specifics, but I've read that the human realm is less "real" than the Nightmare realms are, so we need power to survive whereas they don't. Given that I've entered the Infinite from here, I can believe that. 

   I wonder, if I give the village a little more power, will they be alright? They don't like me, but nobody much does. I'm a human who hates talking to people and needs to sleep way too much, there's no reason to like me. It's my home, that's all that matters, even if I don't think I'll ever go back.

  Is it normal to not like your home all that much? If I could make my home the Temple, claim it as my own place, I'd do that in an instance. It's the only place I don't have to try and hide. I can sleep when I want, read when I want, write endless drivel and contemplate my collection. At the center, I can see Estellia's true nature. At first, it was nothing more than a game of pretend, but now it's starting to become real. I can't tell you how exciting that is. 

  I know I can help them, and I owe it to them to try. I've shaped Estellia before, and I suspect I would do so even without trying by this point. 

    So I head off to the temple, to fix something they can't fix on their own. 

The Invincible

     I used to think I'd only be free when I met the Dreamer and finally stopped needing to sleep. Now, I don't think that.

    Because I just defeated a Princess.

    I'm walking around the human city in daylight without a care in the world. If they come after me, I've got the Temple to go to. But who would dare do that?

   I just defeated a Princess. 

   I did also defeat a God, but any human can defeat a god when they're unprepared. Gods, like all Nightmare's, don't go lucid. The princess was prepared. She was ready to destroy me. But I defeated her first.

   Not in a very dignified way, but still. 

   I've defeated a Princess. From now on, I consider myself invincible. 

The Fairgrounds

    "A reminder to all citizens of Fairyland; all humans must be indoors after sunset."

     They've been playing that announcement on repeat for hours. Given that I'm in the Dreamworld, I'm not sure why their playing that announcement, unless the Fairyland has as many homeless humans as the human lands do. I don't know how I would tell, though. Humans don't sleep, so none of them ever has to enter a Dreamworld. 

   I've been wandering through the Fairylands for a few hours now. I think it must be at around midnight, though it's hard to tell in a Dreamworld, and the temple doesn't connect to Estellia time wise. I liked that about it at first, it meant that I could leave and not be missed, but now it feels like my life is twice as long as it would otherwise be, for no real reward. I keep trying to make time move in my mind, but every time I return, I find that time hasn't passed at all. 

    "A reminder to all citizens of Fairyland; all humans must be indoors after sunset."

    "Why do they keep saying that?" I ask no one in particular.

    "To get rid of the Druggies, dumbass!"

    I turn to see a vendor glaring at me. He seems to be running a basic carnival game, based on throwing a ball into a hoop. It's one of the most common games in the Fairylands. "You're a human?" I ask.

    "Do you see a nightmare form, idiot." the vendor says.

    "No." I tell him, "I can't see nightmare forms."

     He looks at me, his face scrunched up in an expression of what I can only assume is doubt. "You're not a Midnight Nightmare, are you?"

    "No!" I say, "I'm a human. I'm visiting from the Human lands." 

    "Really? Have you ever met a person from the human lands who sleeps? They leave all the hard work to us." 

    I don't want to go into the details. Most people don't understand why I need to sleep so much. 

    "A reminder to all citizens of Fairyland; all humans must be indoors after sunset."

    "I don't think they were making that announcement the last time I was here. What happened?"

    The vendor looks at me. "You've been here before?" He asks.

    I sigh. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I need to sleep. I can't remember a time when that hasn't been true."

    "That's ridiculous. Only Nightmares and people who will become Nightmares need to sleep."

    "Why are they telling people to stay indoors in the Dreamworld?" I snap. "Surely if people are in the Dreamworld then they're already inside? Doesn't the Fairyland have an Economy? I've read that most humans come here to make money."

    He looks down and sighs. "They do, but they never find a way to do it. You hunt and you hunt, but no one wants to pay you for anything around here. The only way to make money is to sell drugs, and in order to do that you have to buy drugs, and if you buy drugs they do everything they can to get you to use them. Once you use them, you're hooked. You'll do everything you can to get more drugs, be it stealing or killing. It's not too long before you're nothing more than husk of what used to be a person. I've talked to some people who've lost relatives this way, and they say that it's like watching someone dig a hole so deep, it'll never be filled up again."

   I don't know what to say. "That's awful. I'm glad we don't have that problem in the Human Lands." 

   "Don't be too proud." The vendor says. "I know the folks who live in the Human lands talk it up like they don't have issues, but I hear they send their kids out to work when they're as young as ten or eleven, and then when they can't find work they won't let them come back home."

   "They don't do that here?" I ask. I can't remember anyone in the village who didn't send their kids to the city. Not that I ever managed to find them.

   "No. It's barbaric. Five years ago the humans finally got tired of so many homeless teenagers and passed a law that said any human who couldn't find work in two years would get banished to a Nightmare World according to their alignment. I hate that law so much. It makes it that much harder to find work, and everyone is too stupid to know anything." 

   He stops for a bit, seeming realizing he's discussing politics with me, a person who doesn’t know anything. "Are you actually planning on playing?" He asks.

    I don't know. But it seems wrong to leave him after having taken so much of his time. I summon some money out of my back pocket and say, "No, but thank you anyway."

    "For what?" He asks.

     "For telling me everything you did." I say. I hand him the money, and then leave before he can ask any more questions.

     "You did hear what he said, didn't you?" A voice whispers in my mind, "If you don't find a job soon, they'll kick you out of the Human lands."

    "I've had a bunch of small jobs." I reassure her. 

    "Did you ever see a boss record your work?" The voice says. 

    Come to think of it, I don't think I did. 

    "A reminder to all citizens of Fairyland; all humans must be indoors after sunset."

    Okay, I've officially had enough of announcements. I'm going to one of the stage areas. There won't be any intercoms there at least.

    The Fairylands Dreamworld is filled with fairgrounds. Unlike the fairgrounds in the human world, these don't have a lot of places to buy things. You mostly just play games, which cost money to play. I don't know if they actually make money, since if you go lucid you can create all of the money you like, so long as you take it from somewhere like a pocket or a purse. At least, that's what I do.

    What I find odd about the fairgrounds is that they're always extremely crowded, and not with people. I don't mean that humans don't visit them, I mean that I think most of the crowds in the fairgrounds are fake. I can't put my finger on it, but they always look odd to me. I think the problem is that they're too complicated. If you had to ask me to imagine a human, I wouldn't imagine people like them. 

     This Fairground seems to be extremely popular. I haven't seen any fake people so far. I do see a lot of people hiding in between buildings counting money. I wonder if crime is a problem in the Fairylands.

    Inside each Fairground is at least one stage, where they have performances. From what I can tell, these all involve real people, and you don't have to pay for them. I always watch at least a few performances with each visit, even though most of them are a bit basic. Especially in the Fairgrounds people don't come to. Unlike the one I'm in right now. The crowd all seem eager to enter the door. I assume there's a free performance. 

   There's a guard in front of the entrance. There usually is, but this one seems especially unfriendly. He seems to be watching for trouble. As I'm about to enter the stage he says, "Do I know you from somewhere?"

     For a moment I panic, wondering if this is one of the guards that was in the truck. But I don't think it is. "No." I reply, not terribly convincingly. 

    He looks suspicious, but waves me in anyways. Once again my luck comes through.

     I enter to find there's no place to sit. That wouldn't be an issue, except that there's always someone blocking my view. Fortunately, this stage is high enough up off the ground that I can get a clear view. Unfortunately, there seems to be a man chained up in the center. 

    I've heard they have different standards for entertainment in the bigger fairgrounds, but I didn't know lots of people wanted to see a man chained up doing nothing. I can't help but feel sorry for him, and a little uneasy. I wish this were a juggling act instead.

   "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" A voice booms from off the stage. "WELCOME, ONE AND ALL, TO THE EXECUTION OF A CENTURY."

     The crowd murmurs. I get the impression none of them are that impressed so far. My ears hurt from the shouting. I look up to see the man shifting in place. I don't know what's going through his mind, but he doesn't seem happy to hear there's an execution.

     Wait, execution?

      I've read about these in books. Supposedly the Fairies and Monsters kill off those who do egregious crimes in the Shadow and Sorcerer lands. Neither Fairies nor Monsters have any laws, so they have to import those who do. I've never been to one before, but I hear they're a thing you never forget. 

    I feel excited and nervous. I'm told there's a lot of blood, and I've never seen blood before. 

    Suddenly, the lights go off. On the stage, a spotlight appears over the man, who I assume must be a criminal. Another spotlight appears over a woman. "Good night everyone," She says.

    "Good night your majesty." The crowd replies. 

     "So wonderful to see you, I didn't expect to see such a large crowd the day after my Coronation." 

      She hold out her hand off stage someone hands her a tiara. She puts it on top of her head. "I'm sure you'd all love to see a princess in all of her glory." She says. She starts spinning, and a silver dress materializes around her. It sparkles in the light. When she stops, she takes off the crown, and her dark brown hair spills cascades down her back. She smiles, the kind of smile that makes you think she could be your friend. 

    I have to admit, she looks the part of the princess. I know brown hair and brown eyes are normal, but the ability to win people over to you instantly is not. 

     Suddenly, the spotlight around her disappears, and the lights on the stage turn back on. She's back in the clothes she wore when she first stepped on stage, show clothes that all buskers wear, and her hair is now back in a bun. "I wish you could see my true self, but alas, we're about to get messy." 

    She walks to the center of the stage, and pulls a dagger from the inside of her shirt. "Tell me, do you know what crimes this man committed?"

    The crowd starts murmuring. I can't make out what anyone's saying.

     "Well, I can't tell you. What he did was so awful, the crime can't be spoken aloud. He came directly from the land of the Sorcerers, who tell me they caught this man doing heinous things. And do you know what we do to men who do heinous things?" She pauses and looks to the crowd.

     Out of the silence, I hear someone yell, "Kill them."

     She smiles, "Exactly."

     She stab the knife into the base of his neck, then carves it down the length of his body. I don’t hear him scream, but it could be because the crowd has started shrieking around me. I can't tell if they're excited or unsettled. I don't feel anything. 

    Then she rips the corpse open in a shower of blood. 

     I'm in the very back of the crowd, but I still get dribbled on. 

     I want to throw up, but throwing up while you're asleep is a bad idea. I did that once when I was small, and my bed got soaked. The doctor told me that I shouldn't do that again, because I might get vomit in my lungs.

    I run. I can't stand being here. The guard tries to stop me. I hear the crowd cheering behind me. 

    Suddenly the crowd begins to thicken around me, or maybe I'm just too scared. In my mind I see that man being ripped apart, and I swear I hear him screaming in agony. Or maybe not screaming, maybe it's just my mind pleading to be free of him. 

   I push through the crowd as fast as I can, not sure of where I want to go. I can't catch my breath. I have to sit down someplace. I make my way to a wall, then collapse against it, willing my body to calm down. Every thought in my mind is pressing against my temple. My lungs won't draw any air. I cry, not out of sadness, but because my body needs to release its emotions.

    The crowd doesn't notice. People collapse all the time. It's not a matter of concern. Not when there are games to play. 

     I should wake up. I don't want to, though. The temple, with its empty rooms, won't help. I need distraction. So I watch the crowd go by, some stopping to play games, most walking to get where they want to go as fast as possible. I'm entranced by it, so much so I don't see her until she's right on top of me. 

   "Well, who'd have thought? The human that James has been complaining about, right at my door step." 

    I look up. It's the woman who was on stage, killing that man. When I think that, I get angry suddenly. I don't know why. If he was up there, he did something to deserve it. But I can still feel the blood that dripped on me. 

    "What do you want?" I say.

     "I want to put you in prison." She replies.

    A smart human would run. A human with any life skills would know they can't beat a Nightmare. But I have no life skills, and I've fought dozens of Nightmares in my time sleeping. And I know that, within every Nightmare, there's a human who's weak to every attack. Including my necklace, my main form of attack. I yank it off and throw it at her.

    She just bats it away, "Why did you think that would do anything?"

     She lifts up her hand, and a wand materializes in it. At least, I think it's a wand. It's longer and thicker than you'd expect a wand to be, and it doesn’t have any markings on it. Too late, I realize she's about to hit me. I only just get the shield up. 

   "Ow!" She yelps.

   That would be my necklace. It starts to float next to me. It suddenly occurs to me that she said she was a princess. I don't know much about Nightmares, but I know that you have to be extremely powerful to become a princess. There's no way that a human has a chance against one. 

    I run as fast as I can. I feel what must be a spell come after me, so I put my shield back up. I turn to run, and I notice that she's right behind me. "You aren't getting away this time." She says, sounding annoyed. 

    "I've run away from Nightmares ever since I was little." I say. "I'm not letting you capture me." I send my necklace back at her. She tries to swat it away, but it gets her anyway. I keep going at her, and before long she realizes that it really doesn't do much damage. Before long she starts walking towards me with her wand held high.

   I back away. In a low tone of voice she says, "How are you planning on escaping me? I know that you must live in the Fairylands. Why would you be here otherwise? Do you somehow think you'll impress me enough to rise up in this world, you worthless child?"

     Okay, now I'm mad. I'm not saying that I'm not worthless, but I will never admit that too a Nightmare. All humans in the Human lands live there because we're proud of our humanness. We never, ever, demand power or respect from Nightmares, because we all know that we're better than them, it's just that the Nightmares are too low to admit that. I imagine myself stomping on her, tearing this Dreamworld to pieces. Beneath me, I can feel the Infinite begin to squirm.

    "I am not worthless. I was born in the Human lands and I'll die in the human lands, and I don't need your help to do either. I will fight you until I win, because I don't need Nightmare powers to destroy you. I am Cassandra Lumis, the one who Dreams Estellia into existence, and I will banish you like the bad dream you are."

    I really need to work on my taunts. Fortunately, for a princess she's extremely weak. She goes, then vanishes, right as I finish taunting her. I feel proud and happy.

     Then I wake up in my bed.

      "Oh, come on!" I say, to an empty room. "I just wanted to gloat for a bit." 

      I sit up. It occurs to me that I just beat a princess, and it wasn't even that hard. Fighting Alex's "demon", as she calls it, was harder. 

     I don't think it's a serious possibility, but I wonder if anyone would consider me a candidate for a Nightmare. Hey, what's a dreamer for if not to dream of the impossible? 

Alone in the Temple

     Day by day, life barely changes. 

    I didn't think being in the temple would ever be boring. It has every book that's ever been written after all. But now I can't stand it. 

     I can't leave either. The wanted posters are gone, but people talk about the new breaks in reality. I don't really know what it means. No one else seems to know either. All I do know is people are blaming the homeless for them. They know we can't run from pain. I'm lucky enough to have found a way to connect the temple to Estellia. Everywhere I go now, I see the bodies of those who weren't so lucky. 

    I should do something about this, but I don't know what. Trying to fight a God nearly got me put in prison. I know now that Estellia's a Dreamworld just like the temple is, but does that mean that I should shape it the way I would any other place in the Infinite. All I really know how to do is move doorways around and make small amounts of money. I don't know how to make the world a better place.

   One of my favorite stories is about a human who learns that lucidity is only making things worse for their friends and family. I always thought the ending was stupid, since they'd spent most of the book until that point making things better for everyone, even passerby, but then the last two chapters showed they'd only made life worse for everyone. I didn't think any of the examples, like a women killed by a train because she'd regained her ability to walk, made sense. Nightmares ruin our lives every day, and Alex has told me time and time again they don't do it for our benefit, so why should lucidity make life worse for people?

   Now though, I wonder if the book had a point. Is that what that person in the mirror was talking about? Am I just a person who uses Lucidity for evil?

   I wish I knew someone I trusted to tell me if I was doing the right thing.

  I look at the calendar on the wall of my study. It says it's getting close to the middle of spring. There should be a fair going on in the Fairylands right about now. I won't be able to go, since I'm a human, but they have a simplified version for their human citizens. I know, because I've been there multiple times. 

    I remember that there's usually a fortune teller. I know the fortunes they give humans are bogus, but right now even bad guidance would be better than no guidance at all. 

   I'll head there tonight while I'm sleeping in the temple. I don't want anything to happen by being awake in a Dreamworld. 

The Dreamer

     "Are you really a human?"

    The voice seems to issue from nowhere. I turn to see my reflection.

    I didn't enter the temple from Estellia. I'm asleep this time. I couldn't think of a place to put the temple doorway that wasn't too conspicuous, so I'm sleeping on a bench at the library. Fortunately, the librarian knows me very well. 

    I must have been dreaming. I thought I got my dreaming over for the night, but apparently I didn't. I head down the hall, wanting to get to the study. I want to try and see if I can write a job I can keep into existence. I've never tried that before. Actually, I've never tried writing anything into existence. I just write about the world I see, and muse on the world that could be. Wow, that was a rhyme, I never thought I'd have any talent for poetry. 

   "Are you going to answer my question?"

    "Who the heck is talking? I know I didn't see anybody come… in…"

     In one of the mirrors, I can see my reflection, only too many details are off. She's wearing all black, while I always where a white shirt. Her hair is pulled up in a bun, while mine is always pulled back in a ponytail. She also looks way too calm and collected, the opposite of how I feel most of the time. 

     "Who are you?" I ask.

     "I'm you." She says, as though it weren't obvious.

     "No, you're not." I say. "I don't look like you at all." 

     "Then why do you see me whenever you look in a mirror."

     I'm about to tell her that I don't, but then I look around I see that my reflection has been replaced by her in every one of the mirrors. "What did you do?" I all but whisper.

   "I did nothing. This is all your doing. You can't expect to claim power without being changed."

   "You mean, into a Nightmare?"

    "No. Not that kind of power." She holds out her hand and produces a small ball of light. "This kind, the power of the soul. The power that lies at the heart of every Estellian, but that not one person would ever dare use. I hear they say it corrupts you, turns you into something evil." She closes her hands, and the light disappears, "I wonder, how willing are you to test that theory?"

    I'm confused. "Are you talking about Lucidity?"

    "Lucidity simply means that you can see that your world isn't real. Any fool can do that. What most won't do is admit that they are allowed to change the world into whatever form they want, so long as no one tries to stop them. Tell me, do you think people won't try to stop you from changing the world to be what you want it to be?"

   "I'm not trying to change the world. I'm trying to save it, to save us from the oppression of the Nightmares. What do you think this temple is for?"

    "If this temple is for the good of humanity," she asks, "Then why won't you let anyone see it."

    "I'd let them, if anyone else slept." I reply.

    "The Nightmares sleep, yet you don't let them near here at all. I see you spend most of your time fighting them." 

    "Nightmares and humans aren't the same." I yell.

    She looks at me, with an expression I can't read. I get the impression she feels that I'm being stupid. "What's the difference then? Would you be able to tell me, with absolute certainty, that a person was a Nightmare?"

    She's got me there. "No, but most people can." 

    "Do you not remember that Lucidity allows people to see the truth? Have you ever considered the possibility that the Humans and Nightmare are but one and the same race? That one was not meant to be food for the other, but that they were in fact meant to live in harmony?"

   "Were they?" I ask.

   "I don't know. History is quite fuzzy, as I'm sure you've no doubt noticed. One thing I must know before I depart. Knowing everything I told you, would you become a Nightmare if the chance was offered to you?"

    Puzzled, I say, "Well, no Nightmare would ever offer me up the opportunity, so I don't see how it's relevant. If I were the kind of human destined to become a Nightmare, I wouldn't be homeless in the Human City."

   "I see." she says, "Farewell, Dreamer."

 

  I awake with a start. The first thing that crosses my mind is how dark it is. I'm not normally awake this late at night, usually I fall asleep at dusk and wake up at dawn. I don't like being awake in the dark. It's like being in the Infinite, only everything can attack you at a moment's notice. 

   Then it hits me. Whoever that was called me Dreamer. As in, The Dreamer. The person who dreams all of Estellia into existence. 

    That can't be right, though. I'm not only a human, but nobody on either side of my family has ever even served a Nightmare, let alone become one themselves. Nobody would choose me as the Dreamer. Not even my parents, the only people who have ever loved me. 

   My brain turns over what she said, and I can't seem to just dismiss it. Plenty of people know how to ignore things they know are false, but I've never been able to do that. Maybe it's because most of the books that I read are fiction books. I know none of them are real, but I can imagine them so vividly that they feel real to me. 

    I try to imagine, now, what it must be like to be The Dreamer. You'd need a room, with a really nice bed to sleep on. You'd need someone to bring you food and water, because of course The Dreamer would have weaknesses stronger than even the strongest of High Nightmares. You'd need something nice to dream about, like home. 

  Not unlike my nighttime Dreams. 

  Was all of this an omen for me being The Dreamer? Am I letting myself be homeless and unhappy for no reason?

  That makes no sense. Humans only control things when they're asleep, right?

  Then again, I did see the Infinite while I was awake. I have been moving the temple from place to place, and sleeping in a bed in my house. 

  Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm not human after all. 

Undoing Mistakes

    They're looking for the lost officers. The ones that were in the van when they tried to take me. The van that rolled over. They're dead, but nobody seems to know that. I can't stand seeing their faces everywhere I go, on building walls and in windows. Their dead, but I wish they weren't. 

   I wonder, if Estellia is connected to the Dreamworld, does that mean that I could undo their deaths? Could I go lucid when I'm awake? I've never tried, no one says it's possible, but then Nightmares want us to think that Lucidity is impossible in general. 

   I focus. In my mind I picture the city just like it is now, but without posters. Their faces aren't anywhere. Because they're not dead.

   I consider removing my face, but then I realize that in order for that to work I would have had to not defeat the Shadow God. That would mean the law against homelessness would still be in effect. I don't want that, and if things get too dicey I can flee to the temple. So I let my face stay. 

   Satisfied with what I see, I open my eyes. To my surprise I see one of the lost officers I killed approaching me. He doesn't seem to recognize me.

  "Move along." He says. 

A Quick Break

   I have to say, after fighting Gods, running from the servants of Gods, and discovering I have the ability to travel the Infinite while awake, normal life feels really boring. It always did feel boring, but now that I know it doesn't have to be boring it feels unbearable.

    I used to think I'd spend all day at the temple if I got the chance, but I can't. I get bored too easily. People never told me the reason you work so hard is life is unbearable if you don't. 

    I've tried my trick of daytime dreaming to find work, and I'm learning that it works way more often than I thought it would. I'm even starting to meet other people who dislike Nightmares as much as I do. They think I'm weird for sleeping every night, of course, but they seem to like me. I just wish they'd stop telling me to go home rather than try and live in the city all by myself. After all, why would my parents have sent me here if they didn't want me gone. "I'm sure they're worried about you," they keep telling me. I'm sure they wouldn't say that if they heard my parents yelling at me ever morning when I got up. 

   Whatever they say, I'm not going back. The more I think about it, the more I prefer life in the city to life in the country anyways. Nobody notices me, so there's no one to yell at me for not being able to do things every other human can do easily.

   I wish there were people like me, though. I don't care if they hate me, I'm just tired of needing to explain, over and over again, that I can't be a regular human even though I try. Since that's impossible, I'm settling for going out into the Infinite, night after night, to search for the Dreamer so I never have to sleep another night. 

The Other Infinite?

 I have no idea where I am.

   The Nightmares could be after me, or they could be ignoring me and hoping someone finds me on their own. I wouldn't know. I've been lost for who knows how long. It's getting colder, but other than that I don't know what time of year it is. I almost wish I lived in one of the Nightmare realms. Unlike us, they get seasons. It's a way to keep track of the time, and to keep humans from clogging up the streets. Or so I've heard. 

   I spend all day walking. I don't know what else to do. I haven't seen any towns. I don't know where to find anyone. I could spend the rest of my life walking in uninhabited wilderness. The more I walk, the less real things seem to get. I keep having moments where the world seems to blur if I'm not looking directly at it. Also I swear that the more I walk the less light there seems to be. I haven't even seen the sun for about a week now. 

   I don't feel tired, though it feels like I've been walking for hours. For the first time in my life I wish that I could become hungry. At least then I'd have a better idea of how much time has passed. I've been walking in this forest for a long time. I say forest because it seems to have a lot of trees, though trees aren't supposed to grow in the human realm. Like a lot of things, they're a luxury that only the Nightmares and their followers have access to. But there must be trees, because the further I get the harder it is to see, and I don't see any stars when I look up. If I even am looking up. I don't know, directions stopped making sense a while ago. If it wasn't for the fact that my necklace isn't glowing I'd swear I was in the Infinite, that's how empty this place feels. 

    "What are you doing here, human?!"

     I react before I can think. I throw my hand out to generate a shield instinctively. The Nightmare bounces away from it. That's when I notice my necklace. It's not glowing, but I swear I feel something odd about it. It's like the power I feel from Alex, strong and certain and like it could destroy you. I'm so distracted I almost miss the Nightmare charging at me. I throw my hand up, and this time he seems to go flying. 

    I look around, scared. I'm a human. The only power I have as a human is when I'm lucid, and I can only go lucid in the Infinite or in the Dreamworld. I concentrate on reality, on what Estellia would look like if I was awake, then I look down at my necklace.

  It's glowing. 

  That can only mean one thing, this is the Infinite. How though? I swear I was awake. I'm certain I'm awake right now. Maybe this is another Infinite, some other place the Nightmares keep from us because we can't be trusted. 

   There's only one way to find out. If this is the Infinite I know, my temple will be in here somewhere. I focus on the strongest image I have of it in my head, the realm of souls, and I start to fly using my necklace. 

   I saw a picture of people flying using special boards in Fairyland once when I was small. It was in one of the books we had at school. I decided I wanted one, so whenever I fly in the Infinite I enlarge my necklace and leap on it to fly around. It's a lot of fun and I wish that I could do it in the real world. As I start flying, I notice the stars emerging. They aren't Estellian stars, these stars don't twinkle and the light coming from them feels almost physical. That's because these stars are actually Dreamworlds, the bigger they are the more powerful the Nightmare that controls them. 

   I don't navigate the Infinite by anything other than instinct. If there's a better way of navigating I don't know it. But I think I know how long it should take me to get to the temple, so I keep flying in the direction I know it's in. I'm not expecting to see it, so I almost fly past it. 

   From afar it's nothing impressive. It's not the smallest of the Infinite's Dreamworlds, but it's small enough that no High Nightmare would notice it. I stand on the ground around two pillars, one leaning against the other. You can only get in if I let you. 

   How did I not know that you could enter the Infinite while awake? Why isn't it mentioned in any books? I know the Nightmare countries aren't like human country, but is that because they're actually part of the Infinite and we don't know that because most of us don't sleep? If they are, does that mean I can connect my temple to Estellia, and I could visit it even if I'm awake. 

   I have to try.

   I picture Estellia in my mind. I picture the Human country, little more than Grassy fields dotted with small towns. The Shadow and Sorcerer countries, filled with large cities and enormous structures, the places that aren't cities filled with large forests. The Fairyland, an island in a large ocean. The Monster country, mostly forests, dotted with temples, and a city filled with sin. At the center of all of them, at the center of everything in fact, is the Dream Tower, where at the top is said to be the arena where the strongest Nightmares test their skill. 

   I open my eyes.

   I'm still in the infinite. I don't know how to get back home, or if I even can. 

   I go inside the temple. One nice thing about it is that I can move the doorways from one room to another, so if I want to get to the library from my apartment I don't have to walk through the realm of souls. I find myself wishing I could connect the library here to the library I was using when I lived in the Human city. Then I open the door to the library and realize somethings wrong. My library is massive, and this one is small. Wait, are those posters on the wall?

    I walk through the door, and I realize I somehow connected the temple to one of the Human city's libraries. How? I don't know, and right now I don't care. I close the door, open it, and see the city streets outside. I think about the realm of souls and grab the door again. Sure enough, I open the door to the temple. 

    This changes everything. From now on, I'll never have to worry about being homeless. I'll always have a place to sleep. If the Nightmares attack me, I can run away. I'll never be in danger again. From now on, I'm safe.

   I reenter the Temple. I think it's time I take a nap, then I want to get some new clothes. If I can make money here the way I can in Fairyland's Dreamworld, I want a house to. I don't need it, but I want to be able to come and go to the temple when I please from now on. 

The Unwanted One

 "Do you know why you're here?" The town guard asks.

"No, I don't. That's why I keep asking you." I say, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

"Well do you see this wanted poster? This is for a human said to have attacked the Shadow God last summer. We can't have humans attacking the gods, now can we." The guard says, sneering.

"You really think that I would attack the gods?" I say.

"Of course not. I don't think any human would even get close to them. But we have to bring someone in, or else the bosses will get upset at us." The Guard Replies.

"But I didn't do it!" I yell.

"We'll see what they say when you come into headquarters." The guard says, before making a motion to dismiss me.

  Why did I decide I should sleep on a bench? None of the alleyways had been clear of guards for two days, so I was desperate, but hallucinations are better than being brought for a crime you're not even guilty of, even if you did it. Maybe I didn't sleep on a bench. Maybe I'm hallucinating. No, hallucinations are weirder then this.

   I'm in the back of a police van. No one knows what they're from or how they work, people just say that we've always had them. In the part of my mind that isn't panicking, I'm wondering why the Nightmares, who can move through the Infinite easily, always have cars while humans, who are pretty much stuck where they are unless they walk, don't. It's why it's so hard to get a job in the city if you don't already have one. You need a bus to get anywhere. 

  I know it's not relevant to the situation right now. I need to get out, but thinking on my feet in a crisis isn't my strong suit. Supposedly there are humans who can talk the guards into doing anything they want them to do, but I can barely talk someone into listening to me for five seconds. Despite what that poster might have said, I'm deeply unwanted. The only solution I can think of is to pray the van roles over and I make it out alive while the officers die. And that nobody notices at all. Considering the noises the van is making, I might get lucky. 

 "Do you know what the Shadows are going to do to you?" The guard asks.

 "No." I say, hoping he won't inform me. 

 "They're going to trap you in sleep and never allow you to wake up. In sleep, you'll see everything you don't want to happen happening constantly.  I'm told it can get quite painful." He shakes his head, "That's what you get for upsetting our gods."

  I want to tell him they aren't "our" gods, all they care about is other Nightmares. I doubt that he cares though. 

  Asleep all the time? No way to wake up? Everything I don't want to happen is happening constantly? It'll be like the Dreamling dream I have all the time, only there won't be a way to wake up. Except… I can go lucid. All humans can go lucid. Couldn't a human just go lucid and end the dream? That's what I always end up doing. 

 I picture the scenario in my mind. I get put to sleep in a bed, like the ones I saw in picture books when I was little (my parents always told me that if I had to sleep, I could use the floor). I beg the guards not to force me to sleep, I don't want my power being used to fuel Nightmares. It's too late though, they put a spell on me so I have to sleep. The dreams are endless, but then I feel my necklace around my neck. They didn't take it away because they didn't think it could possibly be important. They know what an artefact looks like, and they know it doesn't look like a cheap carnival prize. 

   I grab onto it. I remember reality, a place where everything looks like a Dreamworld, but you can't change anything. My necklace will always be a necklace without any powers, but it still brings me luck, because I know it's special. I know that as long as I believe in its power, I will be the luckiest human alive. 

   I see it come to life to destroy Nightmares, as it's done so many times in the Infinite. I picture the guards crying, begging for me not to hurt them. But I don't care. I am Cassandra Lumis, Dreamer of dreams, wielder of Estellia's power, and I will destroy anyone who gets in my way.

  Suddenly, I feel the floor lurch. "Whoa nelly," The guard says, laughing. Then it lurches again, and keeps lurching. More and more, the movement making my head spin. I suddenly realize what's going to happen and scream. 

   I keep screaming as we roll what feels like downhill. We keep rolling. I wonder why we aren't hitting any buildings, but then I realize we must have left the city a while ago. 

     Eventually we stop. I'm shaken, but amazingly enough I'm unhurt, and the doors to the van pop open easily. I run as far away as I can, not checking to see if the guards are alive. I don't want to get captured again, and I doubt that living in the wild will be any harder than living in the city was. 

   I run for a long time, long enough for the sky to start to darken and fill with stars. I'm exhausted, and I want to sleep so badly, but I don't dare stop running. I can't risk being too near the van when it's discovered. 

   It isn't until the sun comes up again, and I realize I don't have any idea where I am, that it hits me.

   I made the van role over. 

   I know Nightmares can control the illusions they force each other into. It's why humans don’t sleep at all and Nightmares only sleep if they have to. I know Hight Nightmares can control Dreamworlds. It's why you don't approach them at all until you've learned exactly what to say and exactly which tone to use. I've never heard of anyone, human or Nightmare, who can control reality.

   I suppose it's possible the van rolled over on its own, but then how am I alive? 

Cassie's Plans

  It's the middle of summer, my favorite time of year. It's been almost four weeks since I took out the Shadow God and got him to repeal the law. At least, I like to think it was me who got it repealed. There haven't been any announcements from the Nightmares so it's hard to tell.

    I decided to pay a visit to the heartland. I don't like to go when it's fall, because the Nightmares' celebrations make it really chaotic even if the power is lower than it is the rest of the year. Summer is when it gets quiet, but soon the celebration of Horror fest will start. I wanted to see Alex at least once before that happens. She finds me every time I come to the heartland to make sure I won't steal any power. I haven't told her yet that I couldn't steal any power even if I wanted to. It's nice to have someone who wants to talk to you.

   "Hey, Alex?" I say.

   "Yeah?" Alex replies.

   "What kind of jobs are there for humans?" I ask her.

   "What are you asking me for? I don't know any humans other than you." She replies.

   "My parents got me my first job last year and I lost it three months later. Now I'm just on the streets. I don't want to work, but I need another job." I say.

   "What do humans need work for anyway? It's not like the homes they live in cost much." She says.

   "Well, I don't have a job, so I can't make money to live in a home, even if it's just a room with no furniture." I say.

   "Don't you have your parents?" She asks.

   "I don't live with them anymore. I had to move to the city to work, and I don't want to admit that I couldn't keep the job that they found for me. I wouldn't care that much, but I don't want to have to sleep on the streets anymore." I say.

   "You sleep on the streets?" She says.

   "All the time." I say.

   "Why? Are you trying to become a Nightmare?" She asks.

   "What does sleeping on the streets have to do with becoming a Nightmare?" I say.

   "Humans don't sleep. We make sure they're too scared to. If you sleep a lot, that means you're trying to convince Nightmares you can take them in a fight, so they'll recommend you for enhancement." She says.

   "I just sleep because I feel tired. Yeah, I do meet a lot of Nightmares, but I've been lucky enough to not meet any of the strong ones. Which I'm grateful for because I get really sleepy at nighttime and I can't go for more than a few days without sleeping. I've tried." I say.

   "Do you get hungry?" She asks.

   "No. Good thing, because you can't buy food in the Human City." I reply.

   "Maybe you should see a doctor." She says.

   "My mother took me to several wise people when I was younger to find a way to stop the sleeping. Nothing they tried worked." I say.

   "She never took you to a doctor though, did she." Alex says.

   "What's the difference?" I ask. 

   "The difference is that if it's an actual case of weakness you'll be able to learn how to manage it. Among other things."

   "I don't even know where I could find a doctor, and even if I could I'd never be able to afford it." I tell her.

   "I know they have an Enhancer. Go there and tell them you want to become a Nightmare. They'll do the rest." She says.

   "I guess I could do that." I say.

    I don't want to tell her I'm never going to do that. Even if I did have the potential to become a Nightmare, I wouldn't have become one anyway. I hate the way power feels, I don't want to scare people, and I can't talk to anyone well enough to make friends. I thought the problem was just that I sleep, which no other human I've met, or read about, does. The longer I'm away from my parents, the more it becomes clear that that isn't the problem. 

    People look at me. If I say hi, they say hi back. But unless I'm talking to them they won't talk to me at all. I've been in multiple crowds of people who aren't supposed to know one another, and within minutes everyone will be talking to everybody else but nobody will be talking to me. I don't know what's wrong with me. 

    I have gotten better at finding work. Nothing that lasts for more than a day, and nothing that will pay me enough to have a home. I'm so worried about stealing my money that I don't want to try and save enough to pay rent. I can't protect it when I'm asleep. 

   Sometimes I dream, when I'm awake, about becoming a servant to one of the High Nightmare families. I don't know what makes them special, except for the fact that they're the families the Avatars of the Gods come from, I just know that they offer jobs to humans sometimes. I'm told that if you can land one of those jobs, you're set for life. Since they're based on Nightmare time instead of human time you always have the night of, since they sleep at night to keep their Dreamworlds together. I was kind of hoping Alex would know something about it, since I've heard that you can only get a job for a High Nightmare if you can demonstrate you have the ability to use a lot of power. Does that mean they'll only let you work for them if you want to become a Nightmare yourself?

    I'm still not sure what sleeping has to do with becoming a Nightmare. I read somewhere that power is generated by everyone when they feel a strong emotion, and that Nightmares use it to make Dreamworlds. I also know that Nightmares all have weaknesses, and the stronger you are the worse your weakness is. I'm not a Nightmare though, and I have no potential to become one. Yet Lady Greaves said the exact same thing Alex said when I told her I sleep every night, "Are you trying to become a Nightmare?"

   I'm not. I'm just trying to become a human. 

The End of Human Independence

  The worst thing about homelessness is the boredom. At least, if you're a human the boredom is the worst part. I assume that if you're a Nightmare with weakness and have to eat, drink and sleep then you'd have other issues beyond just being bored. I do need to sleep, but I've never wanted food in my life. 

    Most of my days are spent walking around town, occasionally working for whoever will pay me. I don't make enough to pay rent on any of the places nearby, so I just buy cheap collectibles from the shops around town. They're meant to give humans things to put in their homes, if they have them, but I just put them in the temple when I sleep at night.  I like looking at my growing collection. I call it "the most valuable things in all of Estellia," because no other person values their collection as much as I do. 

   There's supposed to be a new law decreed tonight. Since I have nothing better to do, I may as well go and see it. I've heard rumors that they're taking steps to keep humans off the streets. That might be good, since I'm getting really sick of avoiding the guards. I know they're just trying to do their jobs, but I have nowhere else to go. I could go back home, in theory, but my parents haven't even tried to contact me since I left. 

    Granted, it's kind of difficult for humans to contact one another. The nightmares have these little devices in the dreamworld that work kind of like phones that they use to keep in contact in the dreamworld. Alex showed hers to me once and it was honestly pretty cool. In addition to making calls you could also contact people using text or locate your friends and relatives if they were in other dreamworlds. They can also do a bunch of other things apparently, but she wasn't willing to show me any of its other functions because she was afraid that I might steal it. No human would ever steal anything from a Monster no matter how desperate they were, but I think that if someone told me that being a nightmare would earn me one of those phone things I'd leap up to be tested. Sadly, that's not the case. 

    My parents don't have a phone, and I don't know what the phone number for the village was. I used to wander by Lady Greaves place to see if anyone had contacted me, but after about a month I stopped trying. Come to think of it, I don't think I got any calls even when I worked there. My parents, like the rest of the village, were only too happy to be rid of me. 

   The declaration's supposed to happen at sunset. The Nightmare's divide the days into hours, but humans rarely bother to keep track of the time beyond sunrise, sunset, and high noon. When you only need to work to pay taxes and keep a roof of some kind over your head, and you don't need to worry about taxes when you don't have a home, time is mostly meaningless. 

     There aren't that many humans in the square, and most of them seem to be homeless like me. You can tell because they haven't bathed in a while and their clothes have all been worn for too long. I suspect that the only reason they're here is because they're curious what this declaration could be. The Shadows almost never bother trying to enforce laws on us because we're spread out so much and we don't need much. I expect that if it weren't for the laws against public nudity nobody would even wear clothes, since freezing isn't much of an issue. Most humans don't like seeing one another naked even if they don't live in a house, so that rule's staying in place regardless of what Shadows think. 

    The speaker is currently getting his notes in place. I'm not sure he's trying to look like the Shadow God, who always wears a suit regardless of what he's doing, but that's who he reminds me of. I know most Shadows wear fancy clothes so they seem more authoritative then they actually are, but I've never seen anyone wear a suit when visiting the Human realm, including some I learned later were shadows. Is he the Shadow God? He looks to be about twenty-five, which I'm told is the age of the current incarnation of the Shadow God, but he doesn't really look like a God. By which I mean that he doesn't seem to be drawing any more power in then a regular High Nightmare would be. 

    "Greetings, Humankind. It is I, James Lughton, one of your four grand leaders."

    Well, that settles it. He's a god. For reasons that no human has ever been told, the God's call themselves our "Grand Leaders". Which makes no sense, since they never actually lead us. 

    "I come from the City of Darkness to bring you a grand proclamation. I bring to you a new law that will greatly improve all of your lives."

    Why are you telling us something that everyone knows? Nobody would be here if you weren't going to declare a new law we had to follow. Also, do the Shadows actually call their city the "City of Darkness", because it sounds like a name somebody came up with in a hurry, and then everyone after that kept it because nobody could think of a better name. 

    "I bring you a law that will clear up your streets and keep you safe from lawlessness and crime that permeates your very existence."

     Everybody is mostly just confused. Most humans don't read enough to understand anything he says. I read a lot more than anybody else here, and I'm not even sure what he's saying. Is he saying that there's a lot of crime in the city? There is, but it's not like I, or anybody else for that matter, feels unsafe. I suppose the Nightmare's feel differently, but they're Nightmares, it's not like they can't defend themselves. 

    "From now on, all humans are required to be indoors at night."

     Hold on. That makes no sense. I look around, but nobody seems to be asking what, to me, is the obvious question. Okay, I can do this, I already sleep most nights after all. I put my hand up. I don't know if this will get his attention, but it's how we asked questions when I was in school. 

    He turns to me and says, "Yes?"

    "I'm not sure I understand. How can we all be indoors at night if most of us don't have a place to live? Most stores don't stay open past sun down and no one stays open all night."

     "You'll just have to find a place to live then. It's not like finding jobs is difficult. All of you should be working anyway."

     I don't know what to say. To any human, what he's saying is outrageous. Even back in the village, most people didn't have a house to themselves. They shared with their families. I knew one family of people who were only connected by a great-great-grandmother and they all lived in three rooms. Most of them didn't actually stay in that house either, but went to friend's houses or out of town whenever they could. Actually, why did so many people live in houses back home? I don't recall it being awful outside. 

     "The law will go into effect a week from today. After that point, if you're found outside past sundown you'll be thrown in prison. This concludes the declaration." He turns to the crowd and bows slowly, "May your sleep be pleasant and your dreams worry free." 

     We're humans. I'm the only one in this crowd who either sleeps or dreams. 

 

      I don't know why this new law bothers me. Yes, I'm homeless, but it's not like prison would be an awful place for me. I know the Nightmares force you to sleep in prison (it's the only way humans can really be punished after all), but I sleep so much anyway that I don't think it'd matter to me. 

     They could force me to head back to the village. At least, I've heard from some others that they're doing that to some humans who came here for work but then couldn't find a job. They say that the city isn't to provide charity to lazy humans. I don't get it. Most of us can't even sleep, and every human I know works whatever chance they get. There just isn't enough for people to do, or at least not enough jobs that most of us are able to do. I've heard that some Nightmares have jobs for humans that are willing to sleep and give them power, but no human, no matter how desperate, would ever take those sorts of jobs. Not even humans who sleep all the time anyways. 

    But recently, my Dreamworld dreams have become extremely intense. I don't think they're connected to the Nightmares, since I usually get them just after I go to sleep, but they become worse when Nightmares are searching for those of us trying to hide the fact that we're sleeping. With the new law, they're out every night, and I recently discovered that I don't always wake up before a guard spots me, which leads to a lot of people looking for you for a few days afterwards. I'm so incredibly grateful that my luck is holding up. I was worried that it wouldn't, but even though people keep spotting me, nobody has found me yet. 

     If the calendars in the library are correct, I've been in the city for almost a year. My eleventh birthday was almost a season ago. In the time I've been here I've had a job, lost a job, been spotted so many times I've lost count, done day work for a lot of people, and seen so many struggle to survive in a city where no one who's not a Nightmare worries about dying. You just need to avoid the fear that all the Nightmares evoke in humans, even when they don't mean to. But that's hard. It's almost impossibly hard. Even if you don't need to sleep, fear surrounds humanity. Fear of losing the home you and your family live in, fear of being thrown in jail for not paying your taxes, fear of reaching the end of your life and realizing that you did nothing meaningful. 

    It's even worse for me, even if I know how to live in the Dreamworld. I can't seem to figure out how Estellia, a place where dreams mean nothing, works for everybody who is able to stay awake. I can't figure how to get a job, let alone keep one. I don't know how to rent a house, or how much it would take to be able to afford one, and I don't know how I'm supposed to learn about these things. It's such common knowledge that nobody talks about it in books, even if humans aren't supposed to be the ones reading them. 

      What bothers me most are the voices I hear in my head, the ones telling me the Nightmares are getting away with what they're doing because I'm letting them. After all, every High Nightmare has to sleep on occasion, so any of them can be found in the Dreamworld, and any Nightmare in the Dreamworld is weak to lucidity. I've defeated enough of them to know this. I even defeated Alex once when her power started to consume her. Weirdly, she was profusely grateful that I did that. 

     I don't know how I can use lucidity to stop the Nightmares. I've tried praying in the temple. It works well for keeping Nightmares off my case and keeping the stores I want open, but it's not helping to get rid of this law. I've tried dreaming, both awake and asleep, which does sometimes help me find work to pass the time or to get new books in the library, but it's not making the Nightmares change their minds about us. I've thought about what else to do, and all I can think of is visiting the City of Darkness, the one in the Dreamworld, and defeating the Shadow God. Then they'll have to listen to me and repeal this awful law. 

    People describe the Infinite as being a place of nothingness, but in my opinion nothing could be further from the truth. It is, after all, where all souls are born and where they'll someday die. I'm told that birth and death don't work the same for souls as they do for humans, since time isn't a thing in the Infinite, but that's how I picture it. I think that a better way to describe the Infinite is as a place where nothing and everything exist simultaneously, a place where everything exists but nothing is real. It's a place devoid of meaning, and the point of us is to give it meaning by living our lives. That's how I see the humans who live in Dreamworlds going about their lives. The Nightmares may be the ones building the Dreamworlds, but we're the ones who give it meaning. 

    Looking at the City of Darkness, I don't think any humans live here at all. It's real, insofar as any Dreamworld is real, but nothing about it was built with meaning in mind. For one thing, all of the buildings look almost identical. They look almost identical in the Human City as well, but at least in the human city most of the buildings look worn down or broken in spots. I know it's a sign that nobody has enough money to make repairs, but at least it looks like a city people actually live in. To be fair, this is a Dreamworld, not a real place, so maybe the real place looks a bit more lived in. 

    Something I find more troubling is the lack of Starlight. Almost every Dreamworld has stars in it, and a few even have constellations. This Dreamworld has nothing but a black sky. It makes this place feel even more empty then it already does. 

    On the ground, things seem worse. There are people, and from a distance some are even talking, but up close they don’t seem to have much to say to one another. Or any facial expressions at all. Are they even real people, or are they just some sort of illusion? 

   "Excuse me, do you know where I can find James Lughton?" I ask.

    They look at me and say, "I don't know you." Then they don't say anything else. 

     This is horrible, and not only because I have no idea where the Shadow God is. Why would somebody build a Dreamworld without Humans? The fairyland was built around humans, and even the heartland has humans living in towns. This place, despite being a city, feels empty. I walk around, looking for anything that might point me in the direction of the Shadow God, cause the sooner I can leave this place the happier I'll be. Well, maybe it's better to say that I'll be less depressed. 

     There's nothing in this city. I know a lot of people dislike adds, since nobody can buy anything anyway, but at least the Human city has adds, and there's graffiti on a lot of buildings. You'll also see sculptures people have built, or drawings on the street made by children with chalk. Sometimes you'll even see people belting out songs or playing instruments for some money to spend on alcohol, which every adult I know drinks but children aren't allowed to even touch. If you look at the street you'll see the butts of the various kinds of joints people smoke, both officially and unofficially. None of that's here. It's a city of buildings, but it doesn't feel like anyone lives here. It could be an artistic decision I guess, but I don't know what it accomplishes. Who would be scared of a city that looks perfect but feels absolutely empty? 

     "Attention all citizens. I've just received word that a Human has entered our perfect city. If you have any information, please come to the Marlen square to register your complaint." 

     They call this place "our perfect city"? What is wrong with these people? 

      I guess I could head to Marlen square, wherever that is. It wouldn't surprise me if the God of Shadows himself was there somehow. If I find him, I'll be able to fight him. 

     There aren't any street signs in the human city. Supposedly the streets have names, but if they do I never learned any of them. Here, all the streets have names, and you can find them on signs in the intersections. The reason for this is that Nightmares, unlike humans, use things like cars to help them move around more easily. Humans can ride in cars, but no human would ever get enough money to own one. If you want to move between cities, you need a bus ticket. While I do wish to leave the human city someday, I never want to ride a bus ever again. 

     I don't really know where I'm going, so I draw out a map to where Marlen square is in my head and then follow it. I don't know if the route I picked out is how you're supposed to get to the square from where I am, but I discovered a long time ago that if I'm in a dream world and I try to dream like I'm awake, I'll change the Dreamworld I'm in to match it. It's a huge boon when escaping nightmares, but it's not much use otherwise. 

    By the time I reach the square I'm exhausted. I don't know if it's supposed to be a long way from where I am, but I tend to make the routes between places longer then I might otherwise need them to be. That way it feels more real and less wrong, if that makes sense. 

     The square, like the rest of the city, is flawless, but that just makes it feel more wrong. It has everything you might expect of a town or city square; fountains, parks, trees, but there all the plainest versions of those things. Think of what you would put in a park if someone told you to put a fountain there and gave you no further instructions and you'll get an idea of what it looks like. In front of the generic fountain, there's a table. Nobody is at the table, which looks like they got it from a secondhand store. I should know, if my parents bought me anything it came from either a secondhand store or was a donation from one of our neighbors. 

     I assume the table is where one can go to register complaints. I don't see how you do that, since there's nothing on it at all. Wait, did they put this here to lure me into the square so they could trap me in a Dreamworld dream?

     "Hello there."

     I guess that answers my question. I turn and see exactly who I was hoping to see.

     The Shadow's God. 

    "I'd ask what a human is doing in my Dreamworld, but I suppose the answer is obvious. You're trying to avoid making any contributions to Estellia's survival, aren't you?

    I have so many questions right now. Is this entire city just the Dreamworld of the Shadow God. If it is, why did he make it so plain and lifeless? Do Shadows pick their gods based on whether or not they lack any meaningful personality? Right now, I have to stay focused. My goal is to ruin him so he'll repeal the law. 

    "I'm a human. My goal is to contribute as little to the Nightmares as possible. I don't care about the greater good of Estellia. It's not my job to care. My job now is to keep Nightmares from throwing us all in prison because they refuse to give us enough work to do. If that means I have to kill you, I will stop at nothing to accomplish that."

     He looks annoyed. "You say that your goal is to contribute nothing. Yet you dare to complain that I'm doing something to make life in your pathetic city a little less awful? Do you not realize that I could have you killed, for real, before you have a chance to wake up? Did you hear that story about the human who could go lucid and take out High Nightmares without thinking about it and assume that gave you the right to complain to a God who did something you didn't like?"

     "All humans can go lucid. We just know that you don't want us to so we try not to upset you. You can't blame me for wanting to fight when things don't go my way. That's all you Nightmares ever do, complain when we don't do what you want us to do. You complain that we do nothing, but you never do anything to convince us that we should behave otherwise."

     Naturally he attacks me. All Nightmares have attacks and special skills for taking each other on in fights. I don't know what any of them are, and I can't tell the difference between them even up close. I've discovered, through multiple fights with Nightmares hoping for an easy source of power, that if tell myself that they don't hurt they don't do any damage most of the time. I think it helps that the attacks use power and no Nightmare I've met wants me to have any power of my own. 

    The attack ends, but the power still surround me like a dark cloud. I remind it that I can't become a Nightmare, and no human is supposed to draw power anyway, so it had better leave me alone. I picture starlight in my mind, starlight so blinding that it cuts through your very existence. I pick up my necklace, hold it over my head, and fill it with starlight.

    You don't fight Nightmares. You destroy them before they hurt you.

    Light engulfs both of us. The difference is that I'm used to the feeling that everything's ended for a brief moment in time. He isn't. When the light goes away, he vanishes with it. 

     "Let it be known," I say to the spot where he was standing, "That this will be your fate every night until you let us sleep where we want to again. We humans are not your playthings. Without us, you would not be able to survive."

    As soon as I finish saying that, I wake up. The sun isn't yet up, but I can feel dawn approaching. I'm not usually a morning person, but strangely I'm not that sleepy. Something I've noticed is that I seem to need less sleep if I'm fighting off Nightmares. Maybe channeling starlight helps. 

    

     It's been a month since I fought the Shadow God. The law was repealed a day after I woke up that morning. I'm told the process usually takes a lot longer, but they decided to rush it since they were worried about people getting hurt.

    At least, that's what they tell us.

   What happened was that they increased the number of Guards in the City tenfold. It became much harder to sleep then it used to be. It was so bad that I had to stay awake for nearly four days, and started having visions of the Shadow God making lucidity illegal and killing all humans who fought back. I woke up in front of a flower shop. The guards went away after that. I want to pretend that they were afraid of me, but the truth is I don't know what happened. 

   Life's gone back to normal. It sucks, but at least I don't have to worry about being sent home now. I confess, I'd forgotten what it was like to not be allowed to sleep every night. My parents kept trying to force me to stay awake, thinking I'd eventually be able to stay awake all the time like they did. That I couldn't master that skill is most of the reason they sent me away.

    One thing I keep wondering is why the Shadow God disappeared after I engulfed him in light. I know he's a shadow, and according to the dictionary shadow once was the darkness projected by humans when they blocked a light source. Maybe he can only live in darkness. But every Nightmare I've fought has also disappeared when I use my necklace to channel light. Most of the time I don't even need to do that to beat them. I always thought it was because I was lucky enough to only encounter Nightmares any human could beat easily. After all, we've all heard of humans who can fight back against Nightmares even if they have no power of their own. Now, though, I wonder if some of them were actually the kind of Nightmares I'd be afraid of if I could still see Nightmare forms. Could it be I've turned into the kind of human most Nightmares say their terrified of meeting? 

The Dreamling

    Nothing is real in the Infinite, but some things are less unreal then others. Or so I remember being told. Only the Dreamworlds are supposed to look real. If you end up outside of a Dreamworld, you wind up in a world where everything is completely dark, or you're surrounded by so much light it's overwhelming. Maybe, if you get really lucky, you see both at once.

    What most people don't talk about are the dreams within the Dreamworlds. I don't know how else to describe them. Unlike Dreamworlds, which look real but aren't real at all, these don't look real at all. At least not when you think back on them. They look like places that could exist, but only if everyone involved was completely insane. Humans never seem to get these dreams, but I get them all the time because I need to sleep. I hate them, because even though I don't get any of the bad ones, like being chased by a large monster, they scare me badly. One dream I remember vividly is when I was put in charge of managing a magical book of paint samples, and I kept losing it and people kept getting mad at me. I realized how stupid this was when I woke up. Not even the dreamer, who's known for turning mundane objects into powerful items, would create a magical book of paint samples. Though it is said that Dalton, the most powerful Shadow to have ever existed, fought his enemies with a rubber duck. 

   I've never met a single other human who's had one of those dreams, but I'm told Nightmares get them a lot. They don't need to sleep, but you can't create Dreamworlds when you're awake, and most of the power the Nightmares use comes from others entering their dreamworlds. So they sleep, and they dream, and some of their dreams make no sense. When I asked Alex why people get these dreams when they sleep, she told me, "No one knows. They used to think that these dreams were messages from the Infinite, but now most people say they're just our souls trying to tell us truths we'd rather not acknowledge. My mother says that without them, we wouldn't be able to build the dreamworlds correctly because it's only in dreams that we can see the world the way humans do."

      When she said "we" she meant Nightmares, of course. I sleep a lot, but I'll never be part of the world she was born into, even if that's what I wanted. 

    Something that no one, even Nightmares, struggle with, is day dreams. I've read that everyone, even humans, can get them, but everyone seems to view them as a nuisance. I have them a lot, mostly because when you don't have a house, can't go to school, and can't find work there's not much else to do. So I sit by myself, dreaming that I'm in the Temple, or in the Heartland, or talking to one of the god's. Well, one of the two gods I know the names of. All of them died shortly before I was born, so while we know the current avatars of the Shadow and Fairy Gods, we don't yet know who the Avatars of the Sorcerer and Monster gods. I'm told that the Sorcerer god has been identified, but no one knows her name yet, just that it's a girl. Not even the Gods know who the Monster God is, though my money is on Alex. She's who I imagine the Monster God to be. I don't know who the Sorcerer God is, and the land the Sorcerer's live in scares me. It's not scary, I just don't think a human as stupid as I am belongs in a world devoted to knowledge and study, no matter how much she loves to read and write. Sorcerers don't dream when they should be awake and aware of the world around them. But I do. I did it even when I lived back home, a place I don't dare go back to because I know my parents would be angry at me for being unable to hold down the job they got for me and too scared to find another one. So I wander the streets of the Homeland, where the city of humans is, and dream about being anywhere else. 

    In my daydreams, everyone calls me a Dreamling, a human of such little worth that their only purpose is to dream for the Nightmares. I used to get called that a lot back home, mostly when my parents weren't looking. Nobody thought I had to sleep, they thought I did it because my parents let me get away with it. Nobody in the city knows me well enough to think I'm anything but an ordinary bum, but in my head they know the only think I know how to do is dream. Dream of the worlds humans cannot enter, but so many sacrifice everything they have to try. I won't lie, I do find them enticing. They glitter with the promise of a world better than the one you live in now, but are filled with the warning that if you screw up everything you cherish will be taken from you. I've read a lot of stories about humans who work hard to get into the Nightmare's cities, only to be crushed under the pressure of trying to live in them. I can't even manage to live in the human world, I don't want to think about living in the Nightmare cities, though Alex is convinced that's my goal in life. 

     The  thought that I'll never be anything more than a Dreamling haunts me. It's such a frightening thought that most of my Dreamworld dreams are about me being back home, only it's not home. It's just a place that looks like home, with a woman who only vaguely resembles my mother. I go through my day, going to school, running errands, meeting Alex to talk about what her mother wants. I don't know why but in my dreams her mother runs a hair salon, and my mother has a part time job working there. Everyone hates me, they say that if it wasn't for me they would be able to fight back against the Nightmares. I know that it's my fault, so I try to wake up to end everyone's pain. But I can't. Something always stops me. I run to the temple, trying to find answers, but nothing tells me how to escape this town. I run around the Infinite, looking in every Dreamworld I can find, and I still can't figure out how to wake up. Eventually, the Nightmares put a shield up around the town, trapping me in it so I have no choice but to stay in the dream forever. I go as lucid as I can, glimpsing sunlight, before being pulled back into sleep. But I still become awake enough to remember what I have to do, how this dream always ends. I have to find the other four artefacts of the gods.

     I don't know if the artefacts exist, but in my dreams each of the gods has one magic artefact that demonstrates their status as temporary avatars. The shadow god wears a circle with a dot at the center, the fairy god has charm that's just a line, the monster god has a tetrahedron and the sorcerer god has an octahedron with an hourglass inside of it. These artefacts, combined with my star necklace, are the only way I can escape this dream. 

     So I hunt down the gods. Since this is a dream, and since I'm very lucid at this point, I can do this without any problem at all. The hardest part is defeating Alex, but I do it anyway. I will do anything to keep from sleeping forever. With the power of the Artefacts, I wake up at last, seeing the sunlight once more. 

    I have this dream often enough that even when it's daylight I still picture the village I'm trapped in. In moments when I'm looking at job postings to see if there's anything I'm both willing and able to do, I hear villagers yell at me for allowing Nightmares to torment them. When I see announcements from the gods, I see myself defeating them so that I may awaken. When I go to the heartland to meet up with Alex, which I try to do at least once a week, I pray that I'll never have to defeat her when I'm awake, the way I do when I'm asleep. It's feels, to me, like my dreamworld dreams and my daydreams are beginning to connect, which I don't think they should. After all, what would happen if Estellia ever connected with the Dreamworlds, or worse the Infinite? 

The Dream Tower

    At the center of Estellia, positioned to be at an equal distance from all of the five major cities, is the Dream Tower. It is said to be where every dream, wish, promise, everything that generates power, is gathered to be turned into a dreamworld. Aside from the high nightmares, nobody knows what goes on there. The only people allowed in the city that surrounds it are Nightmares and those who are close to joining them. 

A Lucky Human

      I've been on my own for about two years now. I've learned a lot, but the most important thing I think I've learned is that as far as humans go, I'm incredibly lucky. Not just because I have a necklace that helps me fight Nightmares, or because I have a dreamworld of my own, but because no matter how many crimes I commit, I never get caught. 

   Not that I've committed a lot of crimes. Mostly I just sleep in alleyways or on benches. I must look like a druggie, but I don't get stopped by the watch. I did steal a Journal and a pen from one of the shops, mostly because I missed writing things down like I did in school. I didn't realize it before, but apparently you can keep real objects in a Dreamworld if you focus hard enough. I don’t write much, just what I've noticed going on, which isn't much. 

    I'm also lucky enough to avoid the gods when I enter the dreamworlds attached to the cities they run. I don't think they'd like a human who goes lucid as often as I do. It's not illegal, but it is deeply frowned upon, as it destroys the integrity of the dreamworlds, or something. The thing is, I'm pretty sure everyone, human or otherwise, knows the dreamworlds aren't real, and looks at them as a representation of the skill and craftsmanship of the nightmare who created it and nothing more. I suppose pride is a much a problem for nightmares as it is for people, so they probably like to pretend their worlds are realer than they actually are. 

   My friendship with Alex has also made me grateful for not needing to eat. Sleeping every night is bad enough, but eating would be incredibly inconvenient. She's told me that those who need to eat are given special privileges, because they usually have a lot more power than the rest of the nightmares, but if you ask me it doesn't seem like a great trade off. 

  One thing that does kind of bother me is that when I wish for something, I usually get it. I know I should feel grateful, but the only that distinguishes reality from the Infinite for me is that when I'm in a dreamworld I can make whatever I want happen. I don't always get what I want, but it happens often enough that I'm beginning to feel unsettled. 

The Fairylands

    There's no happier place in Estellia then the Fairy Islands. Since it's surrounded by the sea of sadness, I suppose it would have to be the happiest place in Estellia, or else nobody would want to live there. 

   I love going to the Fairylands. Well, more accurately I love going to the dreamworld the people in charge of the Fairylands built for their citizens. Living in the Fairylands requires money, and I don't qualify for a job that pays. Almost no one does. That both my parents did puts me in the top one percent of the human population. Or so my father would say every time I felt queasy because I couldn't sleep for a day or so. Technically it costs money even if you travel to the Dreamworld version of the fairylands, but you can do anything in the dreamworld so I just create the amount of money I want to spend that day and don't worry about it. 

   There's a lot of fun things to do in the Fairylands. You can go on the rides, watch or participate in shows, or play in any number of games. The games are my favorite part, especially those where you're the Dreamer and can fight against the strongest nightmares to ever exist. To be fair, it's probably because I'm really good at them. I also have a soft spot for games that allow you to build your own nightmare world. I suck at those, since you're supposed to make them scary or exhilarating, but I usually just go for building a large house or a temple, something like that. 

   The only think I don't like about the Fairy Lands are the druggies. Apparently working in the Fairylands is nothing short of a waking disaster, at least according to the humans I see sprawled out in the alleyways. They tell me they no longer know joy, it's all just screaming and yelling and fighting and wondering if they'll be able to make rent on the only room they can afford. To make matters worse, they're surrounded by nightmares on all sides, all of whom know they can't fight back so even if they wanted to sleep to try and get a break, they can't do so safely. The only way they can cope is with drugs, the kind that taken in small quantities give you Euphoria but if you take too much of them you pass out. The worst thing is that in drug sleep, you can't move even in the Dreamworld, so you have to hide and hope the Nightmares don't see you and try to trap you in an Illusion. 

   I have to admit, even if seeing them makes me uncomfortable, they make me grateful to live in one of the few cities in Estellia that isn't run by one of the nightmare races. I'm also glad that I have my necklace, which I can use to fight off nightmares if one of them traps me in a illusion. I'm not sure if it'd work on a nightmare who's strong enough to make me forget that all nightmares are humans underneath, but it's worked on everyone I've fought so far. I do wish that I didn't have to sleep, but so far I've been lucky enough not to get caught. I guess, in general, I'm one of the luckiest humans alive.

    Kind of pathetic, honestly. 

Alone

      Estellia's dying.

     How?

     How did this happen?

     How did it fall?

     It's not a dreamworld. It doesn’t belong to me. Or anyone else. 

     So why is it dying?

     Why is my home collapsing in front of my eyes?

     I thought that as long as there was a dreamer, as long as they had somebody to guide them, they would be alright. But they are falling into war right in front of my eyes. Was I meant to save the world? Why?

    I can't go back. They don't want me. They've made that clear time and time again. All I have is a dream, a story about how amazing life would have been if I'd been as special as Alex, Nina, Emily or John.

   But I'm nobody. I'm no one. I'm a voice doomed to spiral through the Infinite.

   Alone. 

   Can I fix things?

   Will I get a second chance?

   Can I change people's views of who I am and who I was meant to be?

   I don't want to be the hero or the villain. I want to be myself, Cassandra Lumis, a woman who builds dreamworlds for fun. A woman who tells stories to children. A woman who's words have no impact on the world but for the meaning they impart on their listeners.

    Will I ever have a say in who I am?

    I know they won't want me. I'm worthless. It's hopeless. 

   Can I build a better world?

   What about the people in this one?

   What should I even do? 

   What else can I do?

   I can't save Estellia.

   I couldn't even if I wanted to.

   I can't let these people suffer because of the mistakes their ancestors made.

   It's time to let Estellia die.

   It's time for a new world to be born.