Alone in the Temple

     Day by day, life barely changes. 

    I didn't think being in the temple would ever be boring. It has every book that's ever been written after all. But now I can't stand it. 

     I can't leave either. The wanted posters are gone, but people talk about the new breaks in reality. I don't really know what it means. No one else seems to know either. All I do know is people are blaming the homeless for them. They know we can't run from pain. I'm lucky enough to have found a way to connect the temple to Estellia. Everywhere I go now, I see the bodies of those who weren't so lucky. 

    I should do something about this, but I don't know what. Trying to fight a God nearly got me put in prison. I know now that Estellia's a Dreamworld just like the temple is, but does that mean that I should shape it the way I would any other place in the Infinite. All I really know how to do is move doorways around and make small amounts of money. I don't know how to make the world a better place.

   One of my favorite stories is about a human who learns that lucidity is only making things worse for their friends and family. I always thought the ending was stupid, since they'd spent most of the book until that point making things better for everyone, even passerby, but then the last two chapters showed they'd only made life worse for everyone. I didn't think any of the examples, like a women killed by a train because she'd regained her ability to walk, made sense. Nightmares ruin our lives every day, and Alex has told me time and time again they don't do it for our benefit, so why should lucidity make life worse for people?

   Now though, I wonder if the book had a point. Is that what that person in the mirror was talking about? Am I just a person who uses Lucidity for evil?

   I wish I knew someone I trusted to tell me if I was doing the right thing.

  I look at the calendar on the wall of my study. It says it's getting close to the middle of spring. There should be a fair going on in the Fairylands right about now. I won't be able to go, since I'm a human, but they have a simplified version for their human citizens. I know, because I've been there multiple times. 

    I remember that there's usually a fortune teller. I know the fortunes they give humans are bogus, but right now even bad guidance would be better than no guidance at all. 

   I'll head there tonight while I'm sleeping in the temple. I don't want anything to happen by being awake in a Dreamworld.