Darius

    "So this is it, isn't it?" 

   I hold in my hand the most powerful Artefact in Estellia. Something with such destructive potential that it has twelve levels of security you have to clear. Once, I've been told, it lead to the fall of a Nightmaredom, until the gods corralled the user, a man named Dalton, and forced him into bondage. 

   It's innocuous, a little silly even, but one should not let appearances fool you.

   "Yes," The Artefact Master says, "This is the infamous Rubber Ducky of Doom, Darius."

   "I must ask, does it squeak when you squeeze it?" 

   "Please don't. I know it doesn't hurt, but I feel so embarrassed." 

   I jump, then look at my hand. It occurs to me, for the first time, that this duck's been looking at my face this whole time. I'm not sure how, the eyes appear to be painted on, but they most certainly are. 

  "I'm sorry." I say, "I was unaware that you were sentient." 

   I've never seen an Artefact that was sentient, though I'm told there have been many throughout our history. They've never been anything dignified though, like a sword or a crystal ball. It's always been things like yo-yos, cheap pens, fake jewelry, and stuffed toys. The department of Artefacts loathes such things, they say it's hard to tell them from normal things, and they don't follow the rules of Artefact creation. 

   "Well," I say, "I need your help, Darius. There's someone going around the Infinite causing trouble in the Infinite. I need you to find them."

   "Do you know what their name?"

   "No."

   "Do you know what they look like?"

   "No."

   "Do you at least know whether they're a human or a nightmare?"

   "No. I've only seen them once, you understand."

   "Then I'm not sure that I can help you. People are always stirring up trouble in the Infinite after all."

   "I see." I say, putting Darius down. "Then I guess I didn't need your help after all."

   "Don't feel bad." Darius says, cheerfully, "I think she'll attack someone else soon."

    "Who?" I say.

    "I think it might be the person who attacked you. She's off to the Fairylands to play, but the new princess want to banish all humans. I don't know what'll happen, but it looks like they're going to fight. Poor thing, I don't think she'll win, and this new princess is vicious." 

     I sit and think out loud. "So if I send a guard to the Fairylands, they'll be able to find her and capture her."

    "No. She won't be awake."

    "She'll be trying to fight someone while asleep!" I say. 

    I don't need to tell you that power doesn't work well when one or both parties are awake. It's why all humans provoke conflict when awake, and then never sleep. 

    "I think that's what she mostly does. Actually, I think she already fought you once already. And she… Won?"

     Darius blinks, using magic far beyond what I could ever do. "Wow," it says, "whoever she is, she's strong. She could take Dalton in a fight, and maybe even win."

    "I'm not sure." I say, thinking back to the human that attacked me. "What do you think I should do?"

     "Have an artist on sight to draw her picture. Then post it in all the Nightmare realms. Soon, she'll be in prison."

     "What if she lives in the human realm?"

    "They'll be even more desperate to find her. No sense in letting somebody put you in danger after all."

     "Okay." I say. "I'll send someone over then."

     I hand Darius back to the Artefact master. "Do you need any payment?" I ask.

     "No." The master tells me, "But if you could have a shipment of cotton balls sent over, that would be appreciated."

     "For cleaning purposes I assume." I say.

     "Yes," he says, "but they're also his favorite." He gives Darius an affectionate squeeze, not enough to make him squeak.

     "I'll send them over as soon as I can." I say, "And thank you, very much, for your help."