Something New

 Why must I focus
On what my parents want?

Why must I work
To win over my boss
And his underlings?

Why must I become part
Of the status quo,
When I want to be something new?

I swear to god
I'm trying my best
To be what you want,
To be everything 
You tell me I can be,
So why can't I succeed?

Why is it
That no matter how hard I try
It isn't enough?

The world's ending,
Prosperity won't last much longer,
Yet somehow that's the least of my worries.

All I've ever been
Is a person formed
By the wills of those around me.
All I want to be
Is myself,
The person they told me I had to be
When I was small,
Only to turn around and tell me
That was never an option to begin with.

I swear to god
The past was amazing,
Yet when I try to relive it
It feels like a nightmare.
When will things get better?
When will I know 
The dark times have ended
For me and my friends?

Is the past truly over?
Was everything you told me a lie?
Did you prepare me for a world
You knew I couldn't have
Even if I wanted it in the first place?
Why?
We both know I didn't want it.
I'm not sure what I did want,
But I know it mattered in a way 
My present never will.

So if I truly can't make the past work anymore,
Then why won't you let me be something new?