It's been two years since I've been a real member of society. I haven't had a life outside my house since I left college. I thought that when I left college, the world would continue going as it had always gone, but I wouldn't be there to experience it. I never thought that it would just stop. 

    Whenever I leave the house I'm struck by how little things seem to have changed, yet everything seems to be crumbling around me. Businesses leave, nobody takes their place, homeless people show up, places that were once filled with people now feel empty and lifeless. Nothing's changed, but nothing is what it used to be. 

    I miss the world before 2019. I don't want to go back, I think I've made that perfectly clear, but I still miss it. I miss knowing that the world would go around the sun no matter how badly I screwed up. There's a great comfort to knowing that even if things go terribly, you will wake up in the same place you went to sleep in. Now the worlds changing, and I don't know what direction it's going in, and I can't help but feel resentful that we had an excellent opportunity to fix what was broken about the world, and we just squandered it. Was going "back to normal" that important to people? Or was it just an excuse to squeeze more money from the desperate?

   I hate this new world, but I hate the fact that I don't have a world to go back to even more.