A Writer Looking to Change the World

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Wednesday, August 3, 2022

A Homeless Human

    From my time working for Milady Greaves, I know that homelessness isn't an uncommon fate for humans. If the city watch finds you asleep in a doorway, they'll have words for you, but if you're awake and moving they'll leave you alone. 

As you can imagine, not being able to sleep is a problem if, for whatever reason, you need to sleep at least once every three days and would really prefer to sleep at least every other day. 

   I don't know how many humans are homeless, but I've seen a lot of them in the time I've been out on the street. I think the Nightmares assume that since we don't need to sleep to gain power we'll be fine without a roof over our heads. Maybe that's true for a lot of humans, but not for me, and I've seen enough humans curled up in alleyways to think that I'm not alone. 

   I keep hearing rumors about humans forming a resistance movement. I hear it's been going on for a long time. But imagine what would happen if I, Cassandra Lumis, became a hero of the resistance.

   I wish I had a home. I wish I knew how to find another job. I wish I knew anything about how to survive in Estellia. I didn't realize how bad it would be until a kid found me sleeping and asked me, "Are you a Dreamling?"

   I didn't know how to answer him. My mother told me that Dreamlings are humans who are so desperate to live in the dreamworlds they sleep all the time even though the Nightmares keep defeating them. I can't say I've defeated a lot of Nightmares, I just get lucky enough that most of the Nightmares I face don't know how to fight. That and I'm no longer afraid of the Infinite. 

   Over time the Dreamworlds I visit become increasingly disturbing. Not because of the Nightmares, it's the worlds themselves that are giving me trouble. Not that long ago, I could tell the difference between a Dreamworld and Estellia easily. Now, unless I use my necklace, I can't tell the difference anymore. 

    I'm scared that I'm a reverse Nightmare, in that instead of getting stronger and more powerful as I get older, I'm getting weaker. Until I was about five, I could tell the difference between a human and a Nightmare even if I was awake. Now I can't tell the difference even if I'm asleep. I'm told that until a nightmare is about twelve they look human, it's the Nightmare forms that give them away. Unless you're dealing with a Midnight Nightmare of course. I know they're rare, much rarer then the people who seem to be human until they start attacking me. I don't know why I lost the ability to see them, but in that case it was as a tradeoff for being able to see power, which doesn't look like something you'd want to have if you ask me. 

     I'm glad I have the library. Humans aren't supposed to read books about how Dreamworlds are constructed, but I can make a copy of any book I grab and add it to the library to read later. I know that most of Estellia's laws don't apply to humans, but it's worthwhile to try not to make the Nightmares angry, especially if you can't avoid sleeping. 

    Apparently, every city and most towns have an equivalent dreamworld somewhere in the Infinite, and most of them are connected to make a kind of fake Estellia just for Nightmares and humans who are either very ambitious or very stupid. Their designed by special committees of Nightmares who make it look close enough to fool gullible humans, but Nightmares would be able to see through it in an instant. The less power someone has, the closer to real life it is. It's a method of keeping humans from sleeping too often, apparently. According to the books I've been reading, they rarely get all the details right. Pay attention to them, and even a weak nightmare can spot the difference easily.

    The issue is that I've reached the point where if I enter a Dreamworld, no matter how much it doesn't conform with reality, it feels incredibly real to me, and continues to do so until I wake up. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that you can't go lucid when you're awake, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between being asleep and being awake anymore. 

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