Thoughts

    I'm not used to talking about my feelings. The only time I've gotten a chance was at therapists office, and even then they usually just say, "That's nice and all, but let's focus on getting you better now, 'kay." 

    That's why my blog tends to be a bit disorganized. I'm not really writing for a professional audience, I'm writing for people who, like me, feel that no one in the world could possibly care about or understand them. I know a lot of people say that if people don't like you, then you need to work on yourself, but if you've never thought of yourself as someone who could be liked, it can feel a bit futile. 

    I know people hate the internet, but I owe everything to it. It's where I first learned that I'm not alone in the world, where I found other people like me. It helped me realize that even if I'm strange and different, I'm not alone in the world. 

    I don't see it talked about a lot, if at all, but the right to be yourself is perhaps the greatest luxury you can have. People are expected to downplay if not conceal their true selves for the benefit of those around them. I don't care who defends this, all I see are people miserable about having to hide the truth from their friends and loved ones for fear they'll be rejected. And last week we saw where that philosophy can lead a society. 

    The whole reason I'm a blogger is that there's a lot about society, not just in America but in general, that doesn't make sense or feel right to me. Like the idea that everyone has to work. If you look at the numbers, it's clear that that isn't true, and acting like it is true means that a lot of people starve for no good reason. Then there's the way we elevate science but punish art, even though both are important for the growth of society. Or that we talk about bullying in such a way that everyone is discouraged from talking about their opinions. 

    We're working on it, I know. But at the bottom is this idea that the way to fix society is to fix the way people behave. That ignores the way society influences everyone. People behave the way society expects them to behave, or according to their own moral codes if no one is around. Again, we're becoming more aware of that, but the amount of people I see who assume that society is only as good or bad as the people living in it is frustrating. 

    I don't really know if I have much to say, I just have a lot of random thoughts that have been rolling around in my head for years now. I also want to have a place where I can just say what I feel about life, which can pretty much be summed up as "It sucks, but I still think it'll get better." With a whole lot of philosophy about the Universe shoved in there. I also want to talk about why I think the world is the way it is in a venue where I know no one will take me seriously. I do want to have an impact on the world, but the last thing I want is to destroy it completely.