The nature of fantasies

     Para social relationships are odd. I don’t know how true this is, but to me it seems like you’re either the kind of person who has Para social relationships, or you don’t have them and find the group who does have them odd and a little creepy. I’m part of the former group. If I find a creator I like, online or offline, I will imagine a conversation with them. I will also imagine the methods used to converse with the creator in question, which tend to involve chance meet ups and time travel, but all of them involve me doing something that’s pretty close to impossible, willingly having a conversation with a complete stranger. 

    Honestly, if I ever did see someone I know about from online, I can’t imagine myself even wanting to initiate a conversation. I’m a writer, the kind of writer whose favorite website is Tv Tropes, and while it’s not a common trope, if you read enough books you will recognize it instantly. I’m referring to Broken pedestal, specifically the incarnation wherein we meet the protagonist as she’s obsessing over her favorite writer, or actor, or musician, see them planning to meet their hero in real life, and then see the meeting go down in flames. Weirdly, many of these cases show that the protagonist’s idol isn’t just human, but the kind of failure few humans could possibly manage. As a result, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to leave your idols as they are in you’re imagination. 

    One very nice upside of doing this is that while in real life, your idols have more power and influence than you could ever hope to have, in your head the reverse is true. Maybe the celebrity you idolize is scum, but as long as you don’t meet them (or seek out too much information) you will never know if that’s true, and so they can be your friend or enemy as you see fit. 

    I confess, while I have no desire to meet anyone of my favorite creators in real life, I really enjoy creating imaginary conversation with them in my head. It’s mostly a way of taking back what power I can. Sometimes I like to pretend that if I imagine or think about something, even if I never say it out loud, I change the world in a small way. It’s silly, but when you find even talking to people stressful, your avenues to change the world are limited. I think part of the reason I’ve been writing so much lately is that I want to give people that hope, that even if it doesn’t feel like they can change the world, their actions still matter and are meaningful. I’ll admit, it’s probably a little naïve, but I’ve come to believe that power, real power, doesn’t lie in those at the top, it lies with those of us at the bottom who make the money they horde.