On Artists and Morality

     Back in 2018, I fell in love with TheFatRat's music when I heard "Monody" in a listicle video. It was both like nothing I'd ever heard before, but was also deeply familiar to me in a lot of ways. Over the years, I listened to more and more of his stuff, eventually reaching the point where I subscribed to his channel. Not everything was amazing of course, but ever single song was amazing, at least musically.  Then 2021 came, and in late November he posted a (now unlisted) video announcing he was going to start selling NFTs. 

    I was, and still am, so angry at him for doing this. You can't tell me he didn't know that what he was doing was wrong. Despite this, it took me until the middle of April to unsubscribe from him. 

    Some people claim that it's possible, even morally just, to separate an artist's work from the artist who created it. I don't buy that. I've studied music history for years, so I know that art hasn't always been seen as a personal venture the way it is today, but I also can't pretend that I don't think that what Mozart, Bach or Wagner wrote wasn't a reflection of their views, at least in terms of what makes music good. So I'm not going to pretend I ever thought that my choice to continue listening to his music afterwards is anything but a reflection of my principles. But I kept at because, simply put, I loved his music. Music, to me, has always been a way to express my emotions about the world in a way that words often can't. I can't say his music was the most emotionally gripping for me, but it did help me express feelings I didn't even know I had. 

     I'm not subscribed to him anymore, and I don't plan on listening to any of his music. But I will say this, it's harder than you might think to break free from a favorite artist, even if you don't have a deep connection to them. It seems weird to say this, but his music was a part of my identity for a while, and turning away from him meant unbuilding and rebuilding a whole part of my personality. I don't even think I'm finished doing that yet. This is also something I'm not used to dealing with, most of the music I listen to was written by composers who died over one hundred years ago. I'm not used to having to decide between music I love and not supporting someone I think is horrible. This has been about deciding who I am and who I want to be as a person, and it's been the hardest fight I've ever had.