One thing I didn't expect when I started blogging was that I would eventually become jealous of people more successful than I am. In hindsight, that was a stupid thing to think, and I'm paying the price for not having prepared for this eventuality. I've been doing a lot of arguing with the voices in my head over this, and I'm finding that it helps to remember that I'm not someone doing this for fame or to ride some imaginary algorithm. I'm doing this because I want to do it, and I want the freedom to say what I want to say. Anything else would represent a change so strong it would send ripples through the world. After all, influence always goes both ways, and if the world is changing me, that means that it must be changed in turn.