My Truth

    I'm trying to write more posts, but it's not going well. Mostly because our decaying world has once again forced me on the search for a meaning to life. I don't care if such a thing doesn't exist, I want to have one, if only to say that I found something. I have to say, I get why religion is so important to people but I kind of wish that it wasn't. I have a lot of thoughts about why our world is the way that it is, but they're just things that I think about based on what I've read and seen, not any sort of grand revelation. I think that any future religion is going to be about the weird thoughts people have in the quiet moments when no one is looking, not some grand discovery by some great theologian. 

     I see a future where religion is a lot more spiritual and a lot less holy, with people worshiping in their living rooms and assembly halls instead of in grand cathedrals. To be fair, while I've believed in something for most of my life, I've only been in a church a handful of times (my mother's always been an atheist) so I don't know what effect a church or the presence of a belief system has on its members from firsthand experience. I just firmly believe that being religious doesn't mean being part of a church or an organized movement, the movements are just a way of letting likeminded people find one another. My problem with organized religion is that there isn’t any one I think is flawless, nor is there one that seems to have made peace with the existence of the scientific method. 

      My reasoning for creating Infinitelism, which is what I call my religion of choice, stems from me not finding a religion made for someone who wants to believe in something that will stay real regardless of what space she finds herself in. In this day and age, we’ve all been in spaces where one thing is true and other things are not, and we’ve all felt the exhaustion that comes from hearing someone in a space we frequent say something we vehemently don’t agree with but are not in a position to argue with. I hate being in spaces where I can’t make myself heard. It’s why I run a blog with no followers; you never get any love but no one complains either. I’ve always felt the need to believe in something, but nothing I found made sense, and critically believing in anything seemed to require you either believe science meant absolutely nothing or that everything in our universe happened for no reason at all. Neither felt particularly satisfying for me, so I decided to just make something up based on what I felt made sense. If you’re going to be crazy enough to believe in something in this day and age, I figure you might as well just make it up as you go along, so that’s what I’ve been doing. 

        I don’t think that Infinitelism is the ultimate truth, and I keep waiting for the moment science figures out the ultimate proof that our Universe is objectively real. That won’t happen for a while, which I’m finding strange because at least a few science types think that consciousness is universal across our Universe, so the idea that our world is just a sort of fever dream has to have occurred to someone other than me. Or at least someone has to have asked the very obvious question of, “If our world is a simulation built on top of another simulation, what would the world underneath all of the simulations be like?” Asking that is what led me to believe that reality isn’t real unless we make it real, regardless of if the “we” is living or nonliving. 

      Regardless of if it’s the ultimate truth, it is my truth, and I refuse to live in a world where I can’t live by what I feel is its basic tenants. Namely, I want to live in a world that I know is real and will stay real. Not just because it’s bound by physics, but because we as humans work to make it real. It’s not just living in a world where the accepted truth changes from one minute to the next, it’s this irrational belief I have that physics, the thing that everything in our Universe believes in, will one day stop being real and it’ll be up to us to find a suitable replacement. Until I think we’re capable of doing that, I won’t be able to feel safe in any world we choose to make.