One of the things I believe about Dreamworlds is that they should be built to withstand criticism. Not ignore it, not resist it, but instead take it and try and build around the problems people have with it even if they’re minor ones. I know, most Dreamers figure this out early on, or else they wind up getting hounded out by everyone else.
As a blogger with an audience generously measured in the single digits (although it seems to be growing) I don’t face criticism for my writing that often. Which I’m okay with, considering that my delusion of choice is that I’m an amazing yet undiscovered writer. As someone who believes in a world made by herself for herself, I do wonder whether or not there’s some sort of issue I haven’t thought of. Something that makes it impossible to believe in both my preferred philosophy and the reality in which we live. You know how with most conspiracy theories, you find that you can only believe in them if you choose not to believe in anything else? I’m trying to avoid that, since the whole reason I created this was that I was a science nerd who desperately wanted to believe in some sort of all-powerful being. Which, of course, eventually led me to deciding in some sort of super sentient Universe trying to keep itself together as best it can. Hey, it works for me.
The thing about being any sort of religious wacko, especially if you essentially live in a cult of one, is you wind up thinking you hold some sort of key to understanding the Universe. What I see is real and makes sense to me, so it must also make sense to everyone else as well, right? Not helped if you believe in something so hidden that our Universe is trying to protect us from it, so it’s not only unfalsifiable but the smaller the number of believers, the more convincing your ideology seems to be. Put like that, the chances of it becoming mainstream are nonexistent. Hell, I’m convinced that someone will eventually figure out a way to prove that it’s wrong. I’m pretty smart, but I was never the best at physics. I’m okay with that, not in an “I’ve made peace with it” way, but in an “I’m smart enough to figure out that if this were true we’d be in danger” way. That’s why I write about it so much, I’m certain that it’s true and I’m pretty sure even a casual observer can tell that most of us live as though it is true. Most of psychology is devoted to the idea that most of what we see isn’t real, it’s just an approximation, and most modern literature is about how we use stories to make life simpler and more exciting. In such an environment, I find the fact that we don’t take the subject of fantasy seriously to be maddening. What we believe and why will be the thing that forms our future, we need to be talking about it a lot more than we are.
I won’t act like I believe in only reasonable things that can be backed by proof. For example, I believe that influence always goes both ways, even in situations where that shouldn’t physically be possible. So every time your favorite creator changes your mind, you’re also changing them in some way even if you can’t see it. Sometimes it’s an exchange, sometimes an enhancement of something both of you already believed, sometimes something else, but the influence is always there.
I know that I don’t have an audience, but even if I did I feel like I wouldn’t be criticized all that much because there isn’t a lot to criticize. There’s a lot of ideas and words, but not a lot of clear explanation because I never explain this to anyone. No one in my life knows that I believe in most of this. I wish I could discuss this with someone, but I have a deep dark suspicion that people would just think that I’m crazy. Why wouldn’t they? I believe in something so unreal that I believe our reality was built to protect us from it. I don’t even think that an external reality that exists regardless of what we do is real. I believe in an innate consciousness shared by everything in the world because I think the only thing keeping our world together is that everything in our Universe believes in our Universe and is following its rules. How much crazier can you get? Let’s also not overlook the fact that a philosophy designed to build realities is a huge danger to the world. Just imagine what kind of trouble we could get into if someone like Donald Trump found out about this.
I’m in a weird position. As the one person who believes in this particular set of beliefs (that I know of, and I know a lot of people believe in parts of this), I simultaneously want everyone to know about this and am worried about what will happen when someone who isn’t me finds out about this. Will they laugh? Get Angry? Steal my ideas and build a cult? What if someone decides that I am building a cult? What if it turns out that I am building a cult? Do cult leaders know what they’re doing? How do they find out before it’s too late? No one talks about this much. In our world you either join a religion or you become an atheist of some sort. Only bad people try and build their own belief system to explain what goes on in their lives.
Maybe that can be your takeaway from this blog. I don’t want Infinitelism to be the end point anyway, and I’m certain that most people want something more solid than the idea that there’s something out there that science can’t explain. I did. So I made that something. Maybe you can to. I’m not the only one who knows that we need something to believe in. I think it’s time we move past prophets, and into a world of people who are just trying to figure out what reality looks like to the little creatures who are trapped in its embrace.
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