The Power of Art

     I'm biased, but I think we undervalue storytelling. I don't just mean the kind of storytelling you find in books and movies, I also mean the kind you find in paintings and symphonies. Just because it doesn't have a clear plot or characters doesn't mean it lacks a story. 

     What I mean is that I don't think we, as a society, see the value in just letting people tell stupid, awful stories. Not only are such stories powerful learning tools for the writers who will go on to write great works, they also serve as a base for society much better then so called "great" works do. Shakespeare wasn't writing for upper class snobs, after all, he was writing for everyday people. It's why his works still hold up today. I think society would benefit from letting people make horrible things that won't sell, without pressuring them to improve. If we don't learn how to make stuff poorly, how can we learn what makes things good? 

The Humans of Fairyland

     I don't understand why James is insisting on putting wanted posters everywhere. I know, it hurts when your defeated by a human that's stronger then you were expecting, but that's part of life in Fairyland. I don't see why he thinks it's such a big deal. 

   Frankly, I'm surprised it's taken him until now to be defeated by a human. I'm a child of business people who spared no expense making sure I knew how to defend myself and I've been taken out by humans more than a few times. They don't have power on their own, but instinct can be much stronger then you'd expect it to be. Even humans that don't sleep a lot can be a threat. 

   But because of a Shadow's wounded pride, I have to fend off people demanding to know why wanted posters for a random human are everywhere. He keeps saying he has to get her for the greater good, but I don't think that he realizes the greater good doesn't trump economic needs, and Fairyland's economy relies on humans feeling safe enough to throw all their money away and then work themselves to death to get more. The wanted posters are doing a great job of reminding them that no matter what we tell them in public, in private we'll always despise them. So now they're fleeing back to human cities or to Monsterland. It's slow, but if this continues on, it'll get much worse.

   I'm grateful that I've never had to deal with a human. The closest I've come to it was meeting some of my mother's Midnight Nightmare friends. None of them have ever had to deal with humans, but they've all told me that they thought they might have to live among humans because of how much they hated the way power felt (not that power feels like anything, but that's beside the point). They've told me that humans think they have it all, because their immune from the effects of weakness, so it's up to us to remind them just how helpless they really are. My father always said the humans he saw in his arcades looked helpless and scared enough to him. My mother said what humans do is none of our business, since the ones who want to end us are smart enough to live in the Human Lands. James told me there's a human who Nightmares now fear, which I thought was complete nonsense, but now I'm hearing more and more about a human who attacks Nightmares on sight, with a form a lucidity that only the strongest of Midnight Nightmares normally use. 

   I wonder when the humans will hear that and decide to leave their place. I'm not sure what the world is coming to.

    Someday things will get better. 

The Old World

 I try not to break down crying
When I think of the world I knew.
It was world based on numbers and patterns
Where everything that was said was true.

I remember a world that was simple
A world where everything mattered.
A world where you knew what was rude
And what things should make you feel flattered.

I remember a world that was cruel
Where nothing seemed to make sense.
I was told it was only me,
The problem was that I was too dense.

As time went by, something changed.
Nothing was as it had seemed.
I look out of my window now,
And wonder if it was a dream.

The sky overhead is still blue,
The roads and stores are the same,
But I now realize that our world
Isn't as simple as they had claimed.

Our world isn't based on patterns,
It's based on the stories we tell.
The pictures we paint, the songs we sing,
The worlds in which we all dwell. 

The only things that matter to me
Are the things I know that I feel,
How can I speak the truth
When I no longer know what's real?

The post for October sixteenth

   I don't know how I keep missing when I haven't posted. I feel like if I don't post a farther out, I'll forget, but if I post too far out I'll miss too many days. 

    I wonder if my stories will someday inspire another little girl to become the writer she's always wanted to be. More than anything else, I hope that winds up being my legacy, especially if they're inspired to surpass me.  

A Quick Break

   I have to say, after fighting Gods, running from the servants of Gods, and discovering I have the ability to travel the Infinite while awake, normal life feels really boring. It always did feel boring, but now that I know it doesn't have to be boring it feels unbearable.

    I used to think I'd spend all day at the temple if I got the chance, but I can't. I get bored too easily. People never told me the reason you work so hard is life is unbearable if you don't. 

    I've tried my trick of daytime dreaming to find work, and I'm learning that it works way more often than I thought it would. I'm even starting to meet other people who dislike Nightmares as much as I do. They think I'm weird for sleeping every night, of course, but they seem to like me. I just wish they'd stop telling me to go home rather than try and live in the city all by myself. After all, why would my parents have sent me here if they didn't want me gone. "I'm sure they're worried about you," they keep telling me. I'm sure they wouldn't say that if they heard my parents yelling at me ever morning when I got up. 

   Whatever they say, I'm not going back. The more I think about it, the more I prefer life in the city to life in the country anyways. Nobody notices me, so there's no one to yell at me for not being able to do things every other human can do easily.

   I wish there were people like me, though. I don't care if they hate me, I'm just tired of needing to explain, over and over again, that I can't be a regular human even though I try. Since that's impossible, I'm settling for going out into the Infinite, night after night, to search for the Dreamer so I never have to sleep another night. 

    There are times when I wish I had a fanbase. This is one of those times. I really wish I knew what people would think about Estellia, especially Cassie. I've been writing this story my entire life, it's one of my favorites, and I want to believe it's a good idea, even though I can't do it justice at all. I keep rewriting it constantly. I honestly don't want to publish it because I want to keep writing it. It is on the Blog, but most of my stories here are first drafts or finished stories that I don't want to put a lot of effort into. I do plan on completely reworking The Big Book of Enchantments someday, after all. 

     Even if I don't publish my Estellia stories, I still want it to be a good story in it's own right. It's not my best story, but Cassie's one of my favorite characters. As you've probably gathered. Some writers are lucky enough to be able to separate themselves from their characters, but I was never one of them. 

     Anyway, if your reading this in the future where I did find a fanbase, tell me what you think. Even if it's finished by then. 

Mathematics

    "How would you alter this world to accommodate humans?"

    Why would you even ask that question? It may not be totally true that humans never sleep, but it is true that you don't need to design a Dreamworld around them. When it comes to humans, they either change around your rules or you change around theirs. You don't need to keep them in mind. 

   It's the last question on this test though, and it's an essay question too. I guess that's what you get when you sign up for a first year mathematics course at college. So few people want to take it that the entry exams focus on weeding out the hopelessly stupid instead of isolating the truly great. At least, that's what I've been told.

   Hedging my bets, I write down "Humans rarely enter shadow cities, and I suspect the Avatar of the Shadow god will have put in a request for there to be as few humans as possible, so I'll be building my city to keep humans from being able to enter, and if they do enter they won't want to stay."

   That's what I'll tell my aunt. I make it last a few paragraphs, just to be safe. 

   I'm not even sure why I agreed to try math. I'm good at it, but that's because I'm smarter than almost everyone else. I'm not exaggerating, that's what the IQ test I took when I was five said. My aunt spent my entire life pushing me not to waste my intelligence doing the things all my friends wanted to do. I was meant to study, to aim high, to do more than everybody else just because I could do more than everybody else. I confess, I think she's being stupid. Most of my teachers don't put any stock into IQ tests, and the only reason I keep making it to the top of my class is because I know she'll be angry if I don't manage it. It sounds ridiculous, but I wish I were genuinely stupid sometimes.

    My father also studied math. He was, I'm told, considered incredibly intelligent when he was my age. But then he fell in love with my mother, got her pregnant, didn't marry her, and they both got banished to live with monsters. I don't know what happened to either of them, my Aunt won't tell me. Since I turn sixteen next week, I'm going to find out, especially if she tells me I shouldn't. She's been wrong about everything else in my life, after all. 

   I'm almost home. I should tell her I don't want to do Mathematics. It's important, since it's the foundation of every Dreamworld, but it just isn't what I want to do. I don't have a backup plan, though. All I do, when she isn't watching, is draw and paint things. She doesn't see a future in that, especially not for the daughter of the man who was once the most powerful Sorcerer in Estellia. 

   So my future is being plotted out on a line. I can see where it's going, and it isn't where I want to end up. How do people live like this, knowing they can't have something they want just because someone else told them no?

   Humans live like this, and they do all right. I'm a sorcerer, I'll be fine. 

    I've said before that I want a world where growth is limited. What I want, at the moment, is a world with more stationary stores. I love collecting pens and notebooks, and they're not easy to find where I live. With how much things are changing, maybe I'll get lucky.