When it comes to assigning blame, there are two main camps. One group claims that since we’re an amalgamation of societal forces, climate, biology, and physics, we’re not responsible for the actions we take. We don’t know what, if anything, we can control about our lives, so it’s not fair to blame people for their screw ups. The other group says that, even accounting for everything outside of our control, we’re still in control of something, and we should take responsibility for that something. I’m in the latter camp. Almost everyone alive is, I suspect. Part of believing in reality is believing that you have control over what happens in your life.
I’ve always maintained that if I was struggling, than it was my own fault for not working hard enough. There’s something comforting in believing that one day you’ll develop the skills needed to study, focus, or talk to people. In the back of my mind, though, I keep hearing a voice saying that this isn’t true. I’m not the only person struggling, so is it really my fault that I can’t get anywhere in life? Was there more I could have done? Was I doomed either way?
I don’t know. I just know that it feels like I’m lying to myself when I say that I could have made it if I tried harder. It doesn’t take much to read accounts of neurotypical people being failed by this world. What chance does someone who has to work twice as hard to get where they are have?
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