The Universe

 It would be so easy 
To live in a world that was safe.
If I could live alongside people
And pretend they cared about me,
It would make me so happy.

It would be so easy
To live in a world that I shared,
Even if I was the only one there.
To know that my life mattered to someone else
Is a dream I never thought would come true.

Why then, are there doubts plaguing my heart? 
Why am I waiting for the moment I wake up
And find this wasn’t even a dream I want to remember?
Why does it feel like darkness is all that awaits me? 
Why does it feel as though I'm about to be unable to even pretend that I'm loved?

The Universe is not exceptionally cruel to me.
You might even say that it's given me more than I really deserve.
Do I really deserve to live when so many would have done more in my place?
I'm grateful, but also scared,
Because every gambler knows that someday your luck runs out.