What do people think about watching old documentaries? I have a old series of documentaries from 1982 called Planet Earth. Not to be confused with BBCs Planet Earth, this is a series on geology. I inherited it from my grandfather when he passed away, I can't watch it because it's on tape, but I recently discovered that the whole series was uploaded to YouTube at some point. Now I'm wondering if it's worth the time to watch a documentary series that over forty years old. I don't think that geology has changed as much as biology, but I know that science can change rapidly. Still, I remember really liking the parts that I saw. I also think that old documentaries can be helpful for recording what people thought the world looked like at that point in time. I'll watch it then, and keep everyone updated on how well I think it's aged. 

Better

 I deserve better.
That's what the demon
Tempting me says.
I deserve better
Than what I have now.
I deserve better 
Than what I will get.
I deserve better 
Than what my heart thinks
That I actually want. 

    I'll be glad when the November Election is over, but I'm grateful that Kamala seems to know just how sensitive people are about supporting a candidate who overtly supports Israel.

An Unsettling Realization

 I keep assuring myself 
That we're in danger,
That the whole world depends
On the decisions that I make.
But then I remember
Something unsettling;
Do video game protagonists
Know how many times they've died? 
How do I know 
If I'm allowed to live
Only once? 

     Today's election day where I am, primaries for various state offices mostly. I'd talk about how much I want certain candidates to win, but nowadays I'm just grateful when someone I want to vote for shows up on the ballot at all. Everything feels so uncertain, and I keep wishing for that person who will take the world where I want it to go. They wouldn't win, but it would be nice to believe that in the future I could actually live in the country that I grew up in. I know, I'm not the only person who feels dissatisfied. If I was, we'd be voting for Joe Biden instead of Kamala Harris this November. I don't know what's going to happen, but by this point, so long as I can pretend everything will be alright, I don't think that it's worth complaining.

Show and Tell

 Tell me what you think is real.
Tell me what you think
Matters above all else.
Stand in front 
Of who you love most
And show us what
You think is real.
Show me what you think
Our world should be built around.
Show me what
We should remember
A thousand years from now.
Show me what 
Our world will see
Whenever it hears your name.
Show us what you know is real,
Tell us why you feel that way.
Tell me why you think
It matters
Above all else.
And show the world
So everyone will know
What reality is. 

    I'll never fully understand reality. No one will. That's a good thing, though. It means there's always more to discover, if we look for it, and new ways to build worlds when we find out the old one's don't work. I find the idea that our world is unknowable comforting. So long as I keep learning, there will always be something in this world to believe in. 

     My mother showed me The Atomic Café the other day, and it's kind of inspired me to watch some more movies about what would happen in the event of a nuclear war. I'm aware that global warming is a massive issue that our politicians are doing nothing about, but I didn't grasp how horrifying it would be to live in a world where your life depended on nobody pressing a certain button. Especially since global warming, with all of it's downsides, isn't so horrible that you consider yourself lucky to die in the initial attack. I wonder why people don't talk about the cold war all that much. I feel like it explains a lot about boomers. As someone not facing that fate (yet), there is something oddly calming about these films. We came way too close to disaster, but in the end we managed to convince our politicians not to act like total jackasses. Maybe there's hope for us yet. 

Waiting

 I'm waiting for the moment
That my old world ends
And my new life begins.
I'm waiting for the day
That I'll find where I belong.
I'm waiting for the day
That I can finally prove
That the world as I see it is real. 

    Is it just me, or did it feel like July went on for way too long? I know, we're all terrified of what November will bring and also desperate to get it over with. Look, I don't know if we're going to be able to handle another Trump term. Like everyone else, I'm hoping that Kamala will win. But one thing I've learned is that the worst thing you can do when disaster is on the horizon is to put of its arrival. Let it come, and then you can learn what you need to do in order to survive. As someone who's watched her life collapse a few times, trust me; even if we're facing extinction, we'll be much happier when we're not staring doom in the face every day.