The Final Post of 2022

    To think that it'll be a new year tomorrow. I know time passes whether we want it to or not, but it never feels like it until we see it happen directly. 

   I wonder what people will think of 2022. Personally, if I had to sum it up, I'd go with "The year tragedy became so common, people forgot how to feel sad." Well, maybe that's just me. I hope it's just me. 

     I think the world's waiting for the moment everything falls apart, but I'm just waiting for the moment things finally get better. I can't look into a crystal ball, so I don't know when it will happen, and the cynical part of me keeps pointing out that things may never get better. After all, didn't we think that World War II marked the end of Fascism? I'm not giving up though. Mostly because I don't know how I'll keep going if I do. 

    I don't know what scares me more, the idea that we'll fall to the evil that lurks within our hearts, or the possibility that we'll never move past the twentieth century. We're in 2022, and I still see remnants of it everywhere I look. It feels like we're in a story that never got a chance to end, so we're stuck living out the same plotline over and over again. Endlessly pretending things were better, even though it's the same as it was, we've just seen it so many times we can no longer ignore the stage effects. I keep hearing people insist that pointless retreads are the only kinds of stories that matter, that changing the tools in our toolbox just leads to more problems than it could ever solve. 

    Maybe if I was a decent writer, I'd agree with that, but I'm not. The whole reason I'm not trying to be a great writer is that I want to be allowed to write whatever I want without the pressure of writing a decent story with compelling characters. I don't want to deal with being so famous I'm no longer allowed to say what's on my mind. It bothers me that we're so focused on having the perfect plot that we don't want to tell the stories we love so much. The ones that have lasted forever because they were simple, repeatable, and everyone could understand them. 

    I think that people don't understand that the thing that makes culture special is that it's made of all the stories we tell one another. All the ways we take the meaningless, random events that make up our lives and tie them together. We now live in a world where those in charge don't want anyone but them to be allowed to tell society's story, which is not only selfish, but dangerous. 

    When I hear people beg to go back to the world before the Pandemic, I wonder where our love of storytelling went. What happened to cause us to forget how to make the meaningless meaningful? I don't know why it happened, nor do I think anyone should be blamed, but I do know that it doesn't need to be an act of god to matter. If nothing else, can't it become the story of how we remembered who we are, and what we were meant to do?

    I write every day, but I apparently had more thoughts than I realized. I'm just not sure whether to call this a good year or a bad one. As someone who's working to create a way for us to cope with the Infinite, which I'm increasingly noticing, I worry about how poorly equiped we are to face a world without a predetermined plotline. I don't think the old gods can help us, but I can't be the only person who thinks we need something to believe in. Why, I wonder, did we sacrifice everything in our search for the truth?

    Someday this will mean something. I just need to look for the right story to tell. 

The Earth of the Past

     I've heard many people say that my only "real" job is to keep us from going back to "the good old days". Back when we didn't have magic, to be clear. There are way too many people alive, right now, in the 31st century, claiming that life was better in the 23rd, 22nd or even the 21st centuries. I can kind of understand being excited about going back to the 23rd century, it's when we found hard evidence that we lived in a multiverse after all. Heck, I even understand wanting to go back to the 22nd century. We did lose physics, but so much technological advancement happened that it's hard not to wish that you could have been alive to see it. But the 21st? That's when we lost the past for good. 

   It's not something we like to dwell on. Most historians agree that the 21st century, when religion dwindled to nothing and we started dreaming of changing physics the way we changed clothes, was the beginning of the dark age of humanity. This was the century that ended with society being little more than a distant dream, and where the population was less than a quarter of what it had been during its height. The only glorious thing about this century was the fall of the Joylan Empire, which does loom large for a good reason, but that only took up a small part near the end of that century. There's also the part that no one wants to talk about; defeating the Joylans meant taking responsibility for our role as mages, a conflict that defined all of the Next century and well beyond. I don't think, even now, that we've fully come to terms with what that means. All we've ever done is turn the other planets of our solar system into farms so we have more food for people. It's better now than it was a Millennium ago, we have almost three billion people now, but we're nowhere near as glorious as we once were. 

   The problem is that throughout the 21st and 22nd centuries we destroyed much of our biosphere. It's recovering, but not quickly enough to outpace our destructive tendencies. There used to be discussions about the possibility of moving our population off of earth to another planet, but those stalled when it became obvious that the only way to do that in a cost effective way was to use magic, which we'd vowed never to do. So we held ourselves back more and more as time went by, the grand cities that defined us being little more than fantasy at this point. Yet people can't stop wanting more. We have makeup and fine clothes now, most houses still have central heating and running water, and food is plentiful if not satiating. So why can't we go back to the good old days, when money ran free and you could become a god if you wanted to?

    We could do that, if we were willing to give up on the one thing that redeems us in my eyes. The problem is that that isn't what we want. The forgotten moral of the Joylans story is that they thought we all wanted to be at the top of our hierarchy, because that's what we kept insisting. They, and we, couldn't see the infinite for what it was, but unlike them we knew that it was there. We knew that power, true power, didn't exist at the top, so the true race was a balancing act between being rich enough to have social clout while not so rich you became separated from the Infinite and lost your ability to connect with your fellow men, a problem the Joylans didn't have. Overcoming them meant that Terrance had to convince everyone that seeking power was never the right call, the right call was to listen to what people wanted and to keep them on your side, for only then could you achieve your goal. "If you want to succeed, never look at your score card." was said to be his favorite saying. 

    I sometimes worry we're forgetting that lesson, the reason we left the old world and it's fascination with "power" and money behind for good. Haven't people heard the theory that the reason the world fell apart was that there was an enormous, unseen schism between the world we wanted and the world we actually had? That the reason the world fell apart was that we tore it to pieces out of rage and helplessness? The core tenant of both Infinitelism and Universalism is that our world is only held together because we believe in it, and that the right and moral thing to do is to never, ever, reject the power you hold. Why are we so eager to abandon morality? 

    It feels strange that a new year is almost here. I didn't want 2022 to last forever of course, and I know that for a lot of people it was an awful year. But with all the blogging I've done, all the time I've spent honing my craft, I feel like for me it was the best year I've had in a while. I wonder how much longer it will be before those who own society realize the only way they'll survive is if they give us a world in which we don't have to emulate them. Will that be the moment their lives lose all meaning? 

The Joylan Empire

     There was a time when all Earth had was history, when all the stories ever told had happened, somewhere far away. Now, A thousand years from the moment that physics, our foundation, failed us, most of what we have are stories. Did they happen? Are they real? We don't know, for anything we dream about now becomes real. 

   The one thing we all agree happened, though it happened before physics collapsed, is the fall of the Joylan Empire. An Empire we weren't a part of, because it wasn't even a part of our Universe. They came from the world of the mind, where mind magic rules. I'm told that their world is run not based on strength or cleverness, but based on who can force people to obey them. 

    The story goes that a thousand years ago, they sense power growing in our world. Upon investigation, they saw a world that was very similar to their own, with a strong upper class, and a weak middle and lower class. Naturally, they thought that we were developing the ability to use mind magic, and that we would try and take over the moment we found out about their existence. So they infiltrated us, and used their magic to try and destroy us. 

    What they didn't know was that Terrance Gregson, Earth's first ruler, awaited them. He wasn't at the top of society, or even anywhere in the middle. He was at the bottom, a loser who lived with his mother, whose sole contribution was angry, stream of consciousness blog posts. He was the one who first saw the outsiders for what they were, and he was the one who united Earth against the threat. 

    What he knew that the Joylan's didn't was that the reason they sensed power coming from Earth, in the age before mages, wasn't because there were any mind mages. Or Elemental mages, space-time mages, or Anti-Mages. What Earth had was a growing problem, physics being torn apart by the different views of those who lived on its surface. This would wreak havoc one day, but to him it was an opportunity to crush the Joylans for good. He worked and planned for decades, and when the stars aligned he ripped the world apart, in such a way that Joylan was sucked into the Infinite, never to be seen again. 

    Nobody in the Mind World remembers the empire, for once it was sucked into the Infinite it ceased to be a place and became merely an idea. Nobody on Earth knows much about it either. We don't know who the Joylan's were, we only know they fought us, and even the reason why gets debated from time to time. While the most common theory is the one that says they wanted to stop us from colonizing them, some claim they knew going in that we weren't mind mages, and they were attempting to stop a more evil form of magic from emerging and taking control of the world. Others claim they just wanted slaves, and we seemed like easy pickings without a guardian or any magic to protect us. Still others say the Joylan empire never existed, it was just a myth built by Earth over the thousand years since our fall, to make us feel better about ourselves.

   As Earth's ruler, I don't know what really happened, but I do know that officially Joylan never died. It still exists in the mind Universe, on top of where Earth now is. Anyone visiting "Joylan" would see it as we imagine it to look, an appearance with changes drastically at least once every few decades. About all we can agree on is that it was around earth's size, with over fifteen billion people in its heyday, and that they were far more technologically advanced then we were, because their physics didn't fail the same way that ours did. Strangely, although Joylan of the past supposedly sat at the center of multiple trade routes, no one much visits. Those who do leave shortly after visiting. I don't know why, but I suspect that since we aren't Mind Mages by nature, the illusion spell we're using is incomplete enough that anybody visiting can see right through it into the Infinite. I've brought this up a few times, but Dr. Tilreh and his cronies say that it doesn't matter, so long as they can't see earth. 

   I don't think he's right. I think that it's only a matter of time before the Guardian of Mind investigates. I'm honestly stunned she's ignored this for as long as she has. I'm told the Guardians are masters of all types of magic, including the lost form, soul magic, yet she doesn't seem to realize that a small planet in another Universe is tricking someone who ought to be the undisputed master of Trickery. Rose says that she's doesn't think we're all that much of a threat to her. She's right, but if I were in her position that would be my excuse to get rid of the problem before it becomes too big to take care of. I think the truth is that one of her advisors warned her that attacking us would put her in danger, though I honestly don't know how. It sounds crazy, and maybe it is, but we are the world that made Terrance Gregson after all.

Be Yourself

    The thing I hate the most about living under capitalism is that you aren't allowed to be yourself. Everyone was told, through television and movies, that they shouldn't let the world choose who they were going to be. As morals go, it was deeply flawed, and it's been deconstructed by many. Not even I think we should all seek individuality, no world would survive being pulled in that many directions. But we went way, way too far in the opposite direction. Republicans are the worst, they preach individuality, but what they mean is that everyone needs to be part of a single individual being. They value the trappings of individuality, but they don't value people who question their motives or methods. Leftism is better, but even then people seem to feel the need for commonality, for a goal. Nobody wants to live in a world bound only by physics it seems, and I fear that our search for the one true rule set will destroy us. 

Life Under Lights

 I imagine them staring at me in horror,
An outsider,
Horrifying yet fascinating. 

I'm alone, unwanted and disliked,
A freak,
Someone who should have been shunned.

Yet they no longer ignore me as they used to. 

I imagine them gawking at me,
A fad, a fraud,
Someone who should never have been seen.

I imagine myself trapped under stage lights,
Blinding and unnerving,
The audience watching my every move. 

If it weren't for society's demands,
Hungry and desperate,
I wouldn't need to worry.

I was not destined for this life,
This fear,
This prison under a fake sun.

I do not wish for a life under lights. 

 It's Christmas. My mother and I already exchanged presents, so all that means is we eat fancy food. 

 You know the internet where you are is bad when it triggers a security warning. I really wish Holland America would figure out a way to get decent internet on thier ships. 

Europa

    It's my eighteenth birthday, and as usual no one remembered it. You would think I'd be used to it by now, but some part of me still hurts. I'm not really sure why.

   I'm on the hill that overlooks the remains of the work camp that used to be here. The one run by the world government. My friends and I shut it down. If anyone knew of my involvement, I might have ended up a hero amongst mages, a villain amongst the elite. Or maybe the other way around. 

   Strange that people consider Europa a land of magic. I've been to all of earth's seven continents, and all of them feel about as real as this place. Yet this is the continent everyone abandoned in the chaos a thousand years ago, when we were still dealing with the horrible realization that we were in charge of our future. 

   Not that long ago there were many abandoned cities and towns. Paris, Berlin, London, and so many others. Destroyed not by bombs or plague but by the simple passage of time. Not even ruins remain of them now, only the stones of churches and castles, crumbling against the sky. You can't even visit unless you work for the government. They say it isn't safe. 

   Nothing is safe anymore. Not with them in charge. I used to think they had our best interest at heart, but traveling across the multiverse made it clear to me that they believe in magic, but only so long as they can turn it to their interests. They don't want anyone to know their manipulating the world for their own benefit. No one knows what they're doing, and nobody could fight them if they did know. 

  Only the Europans are safe, for we are the ones with magic on our side. 

  The sun is setting. It's truly magnificent, a reminder that no matter how hard we try, we can't extinguish beauty from the world. They say that, during the twenty-second century, they were so worried about running out of resources that they banned the use of make-up and made it illegal to wear fine clothing. When it became clear that the laws of physics weren't as solid as they thought they were, after they got over the initial shock, they used magic to build a bridge between the earth and other planets, to help with terraforming and resource extraction. People complained of course, said we were going against the natural order of things, but nothing about our world was ever "natural" to begin with. It was always being changed, and it was better that it was in the hands of those who could predict what would happen, should they take the time to look into the future. 

    The earth has mostly healed, or so they say. Mars and Venus are much more polluted, and people worry that they won't recover quickly since life was never established there. Some scientists are using "special technology" (magic, but for laypeople), to establish ecosystems and build more space for us. As they point out, we only have so many billions of years left before our star dies, so we should start working on a backup plan. 

    That Backup Plan can wait. I have to keep us safe, from insiders and outsiders. To do that, I need to overthrow the government.  Not something I thought I'd say when I became Earth's ruler almost ten years ago, but it's more true than ever right now. 

 I've found that going on vacations make you deeply appreciative of life's simple pleasures. Having decent internet access, for one.