I've been trying to write more in my notebooks, mostly because it feels wrong to keep buying them when I don't use them. Mostly I just write in stream of consciousness, but sometimes I come up with poetry ideas or fiction. 

    It would probably be easier to come up with things to post about if I didn't write most of what I want to say in notebooks. Ah well, the hoard won't fill up itself. 

My Stationary Collection

    I don't know why, but I've always loved collecting stationary. I like the idea of turning ordinary paper into a vessel for stories and memories. Because of this, ever since I was very young, I've collected pens, pencils, paper, markers, just about anything to do with marking up pieces of paper. 

     I have a giant collection of notebooks, mostly from thrift stores and gift shops because the places that are supposed to sell notebooks are also the places that typically have the worst ones. 

Super post 1

   While I was on Blogspot, I decided to test to see what counts as a view. From my own very unscientific

tests, it would appear that just looking at a post doesn’t count as a view, but clicking on it does. This isn’t

true on youtube, but blogspot doesn’t work like that apparently. In light of this, I’m seeing how long I need

to make a post before it triggers the “read more” feature of blogspot. I don’t think it will guarantee an

accurate view count, but at least I might see a number next to the little eye symbol when I look at my

blogspot page. 

   So today we’ll talk about notebooks. The kind with paper and a form of binding, not the electronics.

Frankly, depending on your level of wealth and access to electricity, it’s perfectly possible to go through

life without ever needing to write with pen and paper. We can talk about the benefits of teaching children

to write manually all we want, the truth is that only certain people will ever really need that skill. 

   That said, I love writing with a pen or a pencil on a sheet of paper. This didn’t use to be the case. When

I was younger I couldn’t write anything even slightly legible no matter how hard I tried. I have fine motor

control issues because of autism, and it took years of OT to help me learn how to write. 

   It wasn’t until I reached third grade that I learned how to write legibly. Maybe it was practice, but what I

think happened was that I learned cursive. I don’t think cursive should be a mandatory part of the

curriculum, but I do think that it helped me in a way print hadn’t up until then. For one thing, it looked so

pretty, for another the strokes involved in cursive are a lot easier than those involved in printing, though

printing is much easier to read. To be honest, I hope that future special ed teachers are taught cursive

and encouraged to teach it to students who have trouble writing like I did.

   I didn’t write much in class after middle school though. If I’m able to write slowly and take brakes, my

writings fairly good, but scribbling down notes is a terrible idea, since most of the time it’s an illegible

mess, and god help you if you have me try to write an essay for a test by hand. When I’m on my own, I

write a lot. Mostly to fill up the notebooks I accumulate without really thinking about it. Notebook and pen

collecting is my nerd hobby. I love finding different writing utensils and seeing how they write, and how I

can work to make what I write look better. My absolute favorite kind of pen is a fountain pen, they look so

cool and are a blast to write with. They do have one major downside though, the ink in them dries out

even if you aren’t using them. Ballpoints don’t have that problem, and you can get a good one for much

cheaper than a cheap fountain pen. I tend to stick to black pens or pens with a darker color because I

feel that it’s more professional, and it’s also a lot easier to see what you’ve written on white paper. 

   While I love notebooks, I tend to avoid planners. I don’t usually write down what I plan on doing, since

whether or not I write down goals I almost never complete them. Unfortunately, if you don’t use a planner,

you have to wait at least six years before you can use it next. The exception to this is techo planners,

since their mostly blank and you can use them as standard notebook paper instead of just planning the

goals you never complete. 

   I buy notebooks from all over the place, from the small notebooks from daiso, to the expensive leather

bound one my aunt got me as a birthday present. 

   A few words of advice to people looking to purchase notebooks. First off, don’t by moleskine, or

paperless, or any other big brand notebooks. You can find knockoffs for much cheaper at

half price books, or a similar store. I don’t know if this applies to all goodwill's, but my local goodwill has

had some good picks in the past, and It’s not a bad place to go for back to school supplies if you don’t

need a specific brand. The best places to look for notebooks are bookstores, just be warned that not

every book store carries notebooks. Another excellent place to look is at local crafts fairs, where

sometimes people will sell their own bound notebooks. If you want cheap, look for a daiso near you,

if not amazon isn’t a bad choice. 

    I mostly buy pens on amazon, since pen quality is mostly an engineering issue and isn’t affected by

craftsmanship in any meaningful way. My favorite pen brand is pilot, for both their fountain pens and

cheap office pen selections. I’m also quite fond of platinum fountain pens, if you want to get started

using fountain pens their the brand I recommend the most. Zebra makes an excellent selection of gel

pens and brush pens, but I also love tombow. I was averse to pentel, but last christmas my mom gave

me a brush pen from them that has bristles like a real paint brush, so I’m beginning to warm up to them. 

   What I love most about writing is the feeling that I’m creating something that’s just for me, that I can

enjoy. I love opening a notebook and seeing all of the empty pages waiting to be filled with my thoughts,

fears, and stories. I don’t stick to a topic for long though. My mind gets bored, and then I need to move

to something else. Most of what I write is about myself, what I think about what goes on in my life,

regardless of how small it really is. I don’t usually write to be artistic, I write to be precise, and to try and

show what’s going on inside of my head, and to make a record for whoever winds up reading about my

life when I die. I like to think of my writing as my legacy to the world, a la Emily Dickonson. Unlike Emily,

I hope to gain some notoriety while I’m still alive. 

   I’m a writer, and I hope that someday I can post more of what I’ve written in notebooks or put in

various word documents for the world, or whoever cares, online. I don’t know if anyone will be affected

by it, since I can’t read minds even though I pretend that I can. I do know that it affects me everyday,

and if someone else will feel better about their lives after reading this, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t, than

so be it.

November 14, 2019

   I've been working on filling up all my unfilled notebooks, in an attempt to creates something I'm genuinely proud of. I've also been working on getting a job, partly because I want tot get out of the house more and partly because my mom's getting increasingly angry at me for sitting at home all day and not doing any work either inside or outside the house (for reference, I'm 24). I figured that I'd make a step towards solving both problems by writing on this blog each day. Hey, someone might find my mindless ramblings about nothing of substance interesting. I can't possibly be the no one who laughs at things that aren't objectively funny, while at the same time disliking professional comedy.
   I don't really have a concrete plan of what I want to write, so I think it'll mostly be whatever I want to write on that particular day. I'd say thank god for writing prompts, but frankly I'm past the point where I find them helpful.
   I have a very active imagination. I don't want to say that it's "good" or "bad" because I frankly don't know, but I do know that I enjoy imagining things intensely. It's mostly escapism. I feel the same way about socializing that most people feel about math, and as a result so called "normal" life ranges from hard to nearly impossible, so imagining things helped me to cope with the stress of the outside world.
   I didn't start "writing" in any real capacity until I was about 10-11, when I got consistent access to a word processing program. My handwriting when I was in elementary school was terrible, and I didn't like writing for very long periods of time. With a computer I could write stories, though I never finished them, which is still a problem for me now.
   The strange thing is that when I was really young I was convinced that I would become an artist when I got older. Not because I liked art or was any good at it, but because the images I got in my head were so vivid, to me anyways, that I thought I would have to draw them out. What made me realize that I could write instead was when I read in a book (I think it was Lily's Crossing) that daydreamers make good writers. I was really excited when I found out because I enjoyed coming up with stories far more than I liked drawing or creating other forms of art.
    I still enjoy writing from time to time, both on paper and on one of the dozens of art programs I have downloaded from the internet for free over the years. I don't know if it's normal for people, even artists, to download art programs just for the purpose of seeing what the different brushes will do. My favorite free program is Krita, the only one's I own that cost money are Corel home and student suite and ArtRage for my Kindle fires.
   I think that's enough writing for the day. What'll happen tomorrow? Maybe something better. Let's hope I learn how to write next time.

Life of a writer, part 1

Well here I sit, wanting to write in one of the three notebooks I brought with me but being unable to because I forgot about bringing a pen to write with. I don't have anyone to blame but myself, I wanted to go to the farmers market but didn't leave until it was almost certain to be closed by the time I got there. Fortunately I'm the sort of person who will warp time if it means I'll get something I want, so I made it by the skin of my teeth.
    It's not like I couldn't get another pen if I really wanted to write something down, but I've already got at least a hundred (conservatively) at home, so I'd rather wait until I'm back there. Plus this means that I will remember to check my purse before I next leave home, and not to wait until 5:30 to leave for a market that closes at 6.