I'm a loser, and proud of it, so every time someone insults Elon Musk and his ilk for being a loser I find myself thinking, "Don't compare me to that asshole." 

     Sometimes I just sit back and think that of all the people I could have chosen to be, I chose to be me. I don't really regret that decision. It works, and that's all that I need it to do. But then I think about all how everyone else, to some degree, chose to be who they are, and sometimes it's okay, but other times that person's a billionaire who can't manage charisma no matter how much plastic surgery he has. I'm not cool at all, but I think even I can say that I'm cooler than Elon Musk, if not by much. I have to say, if that's true, than why the hell is society so set on giving Elon Musk billions of dollars. 

     I wonder if Adam Smith felt the way that I do about the world. I've always had strong but unreasonable opinions about what is and isn't important, and my opinions don't often intersect with what other people believe about the world. Because of that, I believe that the world's at it's best when we act according to our own beliefs, since all the people with "good" opinions will outweigh those with "bad" opinions. If I had to live my life just guessing what other people wanted, I'd go mad. Yet a lot of people seem to think we should live like that, making crude guesses and annoying people by constantly demanding they clarify something they didn't think that they needed to clarify. At the end of the day, a world of selfishness, like a world of selflessness, needs people to really commit to it in order to work. 

    In the future we will look at this moment as the moment that hubris overtook us. It was possible, once, to simple curb our expenditures and let the Earth take care of itself, but we're well past that moment. Now, whether we want it or not, we are stuck being Earth's caretakers. 

Sunlight

 Sunlight
Used to be good.

Once there was a time when sunlight
Meant warmth and protection,
Flowers and trees,
Water to splash in
And grass to play on.

Not that long ago
Sunlight
Meant a world that was safe.

Now sunlight
Means fire and destruction,
Mountains of ash,
Ages of emptiness.

Sunlight
Made us better,
Until we overcame 
Our limitations. 

Now sunlight
Means that we stand
Under a ball of flame,
Burning us to death. 

    Maybe when society collapses completely and we're all living in little enclaves, I'll open up a school for Infinitelists. I think it would be neat to reintegrate science with religion. 

     I'm thinking of relearning about physics. Religion these days needs to contend with the existence of science and scientific rules, and I think it would help to have a framework people can use to shape your world to fit around science. Physics seems like a good place to start. 

     I think we should adopt a new aphorism for this year; "Our world is only real so long as we believe it exists." We've grown too accustomed to the idea that our leaders own the world, too accustomed to the idea that if we believe in something than we can just will it into existence. But behind every utopia is a boring, smelly reality with incomplete bits that everyone has to share, and we've been neglecting that reality in pursuit of our hopes and dreams. Now we need to rebuild that world, so that we have somewhere we can retreat to when we're tired of dreaming. Moreover, we need to remind our leaders that they aren't the ones who make the world real. We are. Unionized or not, collective or alone, we shape the world they rely on. If they neglect us, they will eventually be wiped off the face of the Earth. Their dream of staying safe in their bunker while the world above them falls apart is not one that they can realize. To quote Mockingjay, "If we burn, you burn with us." 

    I could be wrong, but I don't think it's a good sign if fire season starts in January. 

    I realize this news is a day old, but why did Meta decide to stop policing misinformation? Do they want to create a world where fascism is the only valid viewpoint? I do realize the answer these questions is, "Yes, they do want fascism," but I still hope the people in charge have enough integrity to at least pretend they don't want to be fascists. Clearly, they do not. 

     One week into the year, and the most you can say is that it didn't start off with an insurrection. Maybe things will get better soon.

The House of Entitlement

 Somewhere in the world 
There's a person who has everything. 
Everything a person
Could possibly want. 
You know that person
And you want to be that person,
But something, most likely money,
Is keeping you from becoming that person. 
So lacking the brains to make greatness
Or the social skills to monetize it, 
You steal the world 
Of those above you. 
You steal their home,
Their family, 
Their very existence,
In the name of saying that you're the best.
No one in the real world knows of this theft.
Only those who share your brain know 
What has happened. 

This is the Last Resort.
No one who lives here
Has their own home.
Everyone lives
At the behest of someone 
They believe to be better than them.
Now that you have chosen
Your place of existence,
Who you are and what you do
Is now known to the world. 
The person you are now
Is someone you run from,
While the person you stole
Is who you wish you could be. 

   I really wish that I was able to stay in my home city of Bellevue. I don't belong here, but I don't really belong anywhere else either. Like most outcasts, I dream of finding an otherworldly place full of people who get me, but barring a complete destruction of the barrier between us and the Infinite, I don't think that I have a chance at finding it. This place is awful, full of class disparity, racism, and Cyber Trucks, but it's still home. I don't think that I'll ever forget what this place used to be, before I realized that I didn't really belong. But I want to belong. I want to see it change for the better. I want it to be what I think all American cities should be, when they're not ripped apart by the storms of change. 

     I keep waiting for the moment everyone turns selfish. That's how I know that the real fight is about to start. 

     I've been thinking about what I would consider the ultimate success story to be. In truth, I don't really believe in success. I just believe in different degrees of failure. I just see people trying to make the most of what they have. But every world that I've seen has something you're supposed to want more than anything else, and I can't think of anything I want that much. I have a lot of small wants. Is it possible to build a world based on that? 

     Why do we worship billionaires? They're only poor saps who got everything they wanted, without realizing it would turn the world against them. If they'd been properly prepared by their teachers and parents, they would have known that unrestrained wealth is the worst thing that could happen to a person outside of abject poverty and homelessness. I think we need to start pitying them. They're under immense pressure to avoid giving into the impulse to go from being ultra-wealthy to being merely wealthy, thus meaning they're doomed to a life of isolation from the real world and loneliness the likes of which you won't find outside of the severely mentally ill. Poor fools. Had they but known, they could have avoided their fate. 

 Happy New Year, everyone!