Condemnation

 I sit in solitude
As a river flows down from the sky,
Flooding the world with ideas and stories. 
I sit and watch
As the world rushes past me
In a torrent, 
Leaving me with nothing
But a valley too young
To be green. 

I sit in solitude
Waiting
For opportunities 
That I was never promised,
For things that I was explicitly told would never be mine.
I sit and wait
For the moment the world realizes
That I'm watching it,
Waiting for what I know it won't give me.

I sit in solitude
And stare into the future, 
To the place where I'll go when I die.
I sit waiting 
For condemnation,
For the moment when the world finally admits
That I will never be able to live in it
Peacefully. 

I sit in solitude,
For I long for the gift
Of entitlement 
And jealousy. 
I sit trapped
In an empty room
Packed high with junk
That no one else wanted,
Because the world won't allow me
To become desperate 
And angry. 

The future has changed
And soon we will all be condemned 
To live without anything more
Than absolute necessity, 
Doomed never to dream about a life
Where there's too much to want
And too little to appreciate. 

So we all sit in solitude,
Separated from each other
Not by distance
But by the sense that if we got too close
We would vaporize each other,
And the sense that if we look at each other
All we'll see is ourselves.