Moments of Quiet

    I want to visit the city someday. I've heard all sorts of horrible things about them, all the crime and grot and filth that covers every corner. I think, as a monster, it would be wrong not to visit, and even indulge a little bit. The best part? The crime lord quarters. Unlike the surrounding areas, their shiny and absolutely covered with lights. I'm told that it looks deliberately overwhelming and artificial. Nothing less for the cities in the lands of evil, of course.

   I also love my hometown. It's only got about ten thousand people, most of whom are Nightmares. We have sacrifices and bonfire celebrations, but not much that's big or flashy. Life is quiet, and slow. It's been this way for as long as anyone can remember. And I love it for that.

   I love walking into the forests, or to the temple, and just sitting quietly with a book. My father and brother don't read much, my mother's too busy for books, and my sister has more friends than I do. Cassie, oddly, loves books, despite the fact that humans don't get very many good books. I've shown her some of my favorites, and she admits that they're better, but she also claims she wouldn't change the books she has access to for the world. "That's what being a human is," She says, "Being below everyone else, and having more than they do because of it."

    I don't envy humans, and I don't think Cassie really believes they have more than we do. Otherwise, she wouldn't sleep as much as she does. But between her and Natalie, I've developed more of an appreciation for them than I would otherwise have. They're powerless, but resourceful enough to get by on what they have. They also all seem to be proud of who they are, more so than I would have thought. Natalie's father talks all the time about how hard he works, her mother takes pride in her cleaning, Cassie talks about all she does to hide the fact that she has no home. I'm not sure why she doesn't try and find a place to rent, they're plentiful in the human lands. 

   When everything's quiet, I appreciate the world I live in. I'm not the strongest Nightmare around, but I don't need to be. I have my family, my friends, strange humans who worship me, and powers granted through my bloodline. If I didn't need to push for greatness, I'd be perfectly happy where I am right now. 

The School Janitor

    Our town doesn't worry about the Homeless. Our mayor has a policy in place that anyone found outside after dark goes to jail, and after your third sentence you get sacrificed for power. The humans hate that policy, but as my mother and father always point out, coming here was their decision in the first place. Though that's not actually true. 

   Natalie, my best friend, rose from basically nothing. Her father's the janitor at our high school, her mother's a maid. Neither of them are nightmares themselves. But their baby fussed and cried a lot, and she slept too, something I and many others took advantage of. Then she started going lucid. 

   It's true that all humans can go lucid, but it doesn't usually go much further than being able to tell how strong a Nightmare is without seeing their nightmare form, which as my parents point out is completely useless. Any other lucidity abilities only come in handy in the Dreamworld, which you only go into while you're asleep, and since humans don't sleep they never need lucidity. Lucidity is only for children with neglectful parents, or children destined to become Midnight Nightmares. Sometimes the one becomes the other, but not often. Most of the time children with poor parents wind up being poor themselves, serving as guards or Night servants for other Nightmares. 

   The Mayors son found out about Natalie. He was, and still is, a jerk, but he's powerful in his own right, and decided to assert that power on the child who was sleeping when she didn't need to. He realized that he was wrong when she dispelled his "Nightmare form" (it barely counted, he was only seven at the time, and she was only five). He went straight up to his mother and demanded that Natalie be punished, but lady Grey, the head of the cult, decided to test Natalie first. That's when we discovered that Natalie is basically my mother's successor, as in she's destined to run our temple one day. 

   That should have made me sad, but the temple always scared me. Mostly because, since it's where all of our sacrifices take place, it's always covered in blood. But Natalie doesn't mind. She's always worked hard to please my mother, and bodily fluids don't bother her. What I like about her the most though is that she doesn't seem to notice that I'm my mother's eldest child most of the time. She never gets upset when I can't manage a spell, nor does she seem disappointed that I'm basically destined to work as a Dreamworld guard (I have no idea where Cassie got the idea that I was destined for Godhood). She tells me that she doesn't really think of me as a competitor, I remind her more of a human then a Nightmare, but I still surprise her with the amount of power I can wield. 

   I wonder how much of that is from her parents. She still lives with them, but she doesn't talk about them to me much. I have seen her talking with humans though. She told me that most of her friends families have lived in the valley for centuries, but there's so much power now that low level Nightmares are taking the jobs humans used to have. And they can't go to the human lands because the rules say you can only move there if you can get a job. Which not even most humans can. 

     Fortunately her father's job seems to be safe. Her mother hasn't been so lucky. They both get what work they can, but they say that they're worried that one or both of them will be sacrifices, and Natalie has said she'll do that if she has to, though she cries every time she says it. 

   I'm grateful that I'm not a human. I do wish they didn't hate us though. We're only doing what we have to for protection. 

The Helper

    I must be the least popular person in the Heartland, human or Nightmare. People like me well enough, but mostly because they respect my mother. A woman who runs the local temple because she stayed when her sisters left, even though she went to University. She praises our town in public, but in private wishes she could have a do-over so she could move to the Monster Capital. Instead she got our family estate, began her own hair salon, and had three children with a man who got her pregnant by accident when she was still going to University. 

    To this day she still isn't married, even though she had me and Dad move in with her when Grandma moved to the city to stay close to my Aunt Abigail. 

   Considering the fact that I'm a bastard, you'd think that I'd find it easy to be evil. I don't. I hate like pranking people, don't like making people angry, and I have a lot of power to use for making charms and spells for people. I don't want to spend my life as a fairy or, gods forbid, a sorcerer, but I wonder if I'll have any say in the matter. I guess I should be grateful I have a demon. 

    

    I spend every afternoon after school working for my mother or one of her colleagues. Since the Heartland is in Monsterland, we naturally have an evil cult that's supposed to be a secret. So of course everyone in town, and a lot of the people outside town, know about it. They don't worship anything, just gather for tea every Sunday and discuss the next human sacrifice they're planning. We're monsters, of course we sacrifice infants. I don't see why humans think it's disturbing for the most evil people in Estellia to kill infants, especially when they don't give them the time of day either. After all, all the infants my mother sacrifices are ethically sourced from our local foster care system. 

   I'm not involved in any of the sacrifices. I don't have any ethical qualms, I just can't stand the sight of blood. I just help with the cleanup and the set up. The rest of the time I'm helping people set up spells, clean their homes, and settle disputes between us and rival cults. Before you ask, no we don’t compete for sacrificial infants. There's way more than enough for everyone. There was a very memorable incident where no one could find any office chairs though. I don't think I'll forget the battle that ensued, no matter how long I'm alive. 

   The cult members think I'm trying to win over my mother so she'll let me keep more of my power. I let them think that, because it's the only way anyone will ever think I'm capable of doing anything evil. The truth is I'm terrible at making friends and no one wants to hang out with me. I know I could just go home and do homework, but then I'd be bored so I help out instead. When the cult doesn't need me, I help the mayor out. When the mayor runs out of things to do, I look for businesses to help out. I'm always helping other people, so that I'll never need anyone to help me. 

  

    My brother and sister are much better at this then I am. They're much better at channeling power, tormenting others, and holding the crowds attention. My sister even did a skit for the crowd at our temple once. We do that a lot, since the humans have been spreading rumors that our God was reborn in the valley. 

   My mother says they're right. Andrew, my brother, and Jennifer, my sister, both hope that it's true. I know it isn't. I haven't told her, but all of the incidents line up to moments I lost control of my demon. I try to stop them from placating the God, who I know isn't paying attention to us, when I know it's all my fault. I don't seem to be able to win though. 

   "Why do you want us to suffer?" Jenny keeps asking me.

   I don't know what to tell her. I, the eldest daughter, the one who should be powerful enough to inherit the valley when my mother dies or moves away. Instead I'm too weak to control my worst impulses, and I run away from home so much that, as my mother reminds me constantly, I'm doom to awaken our God for real and cause them to rampage and destroy our home. 

   I want to be the one our family can rely on, who can protect our home from anything, but I can't be that person. With each passing day I feel less and less like a person who anyone can depend on at all.

   I need help. 

The Eldest Daughter

     Gods are more than their Estellian avatars. They have to be, otherwise they couldn't be as wise and strong as they need to be. The Gods are… well, I don't know exactly what the Gods are. Only temple clerics know what the Gods really are, no one else is allowed to know anything. 

   My family is in charge of managing Monsterland's temple, but no one is part of the clergy. Honestly, I think that's a good thing. As a monster I'm meant to bring chaos into human lives, but most of the time I find it too confusing to do properly. Mostly, I just make them feel a little scared or nervous, and then let them create chaos themselves. It's easy and I don't have to think too hard. 

  Most of our job consists of bringing offerings to the temple and taking care of the spirit monsters who live there. Since all power generated in Monsterland is drawn to the temple, there are a lot of spirit animals who live there. Unfortunately, since they don't have a soul they die if they get too far from a source of power, like a High Nightmare. So we have a rule, if you're able to make it to the temple and pray at the altar, you get a spirit animal. It's one less thing for us to worry about, and it's good practice for High Nightmares in training, so it's win-win. 

   Our family's important in another way, we're Monsterlands God bloodline. That means that the next avatar of the God of Monsters will be from my family. 

    I haven't told my family this, but I'm worried I might be the next one. Cassie seems certain that I'm a God, but I don't know why she thinks that, and no human should have the ability to tell a God from a normal Nightmare. Only Midnight Nightmares do. 

   I'm happy just being the Eldest daughter of Aubrey and Marcus Loreden, Head Nightmares of the Heartland and caretakers of all humans in Monsterland. Technically, only my mother is a Head Nightmare, but my father does errands for her often enough that in the eyes of most of us he might as well be one to. Caretaking is just making sure Humans don't take too much power for themselves. 

    Speaking of power, that's something that concerns me. Like all members of my family, I'm required to wear a charm that channels eighty percent of the power I'm granted to the temple. Despite this, at thirteen I'm almost stronger then mom, on paper at least. I'm not nearly as good at casting spells as she is. More and more people are saying that I'm stealing power from the temple, but I'm not. If anything, I try and channel as much power as I can towards the temple so that I don't awaken my demon by accident. It's getting harder and harder not to. The thing is, since I don't have any special gifts like my brother and sister, the towns people are convinced I must be stealing power from somewhere.

  Another problem is Cassie's visits. She didn't used to come all that often, but recently she's started coming almost every night. I wish I could tell her to bug off, that's what my mom tells me I should do, but I like having someone who doesn't know what I actually am to talk to. Well, she's seen my demon, because it attacked her once when I was angry, but she doesn’t know that's not the full story. I'm scared that if she finds out, she'll demand I give her all the power she wants. I know she says she doesn't want any, but my parents taught me to never ever, trust a human who says that. They're probably lying, and if they aren't you run away and tell us immediately. 

My Inner Demon

     My mother always hated Cassie. She'd say, "Alex, I don't care if you make friends with a human from the heartland, but I don't trust humans who live outside. They might not know that you shouldn’t steal power." It didn't matter that Cassie wasn't the type of person who stole power. She told me she hated the way power "felt" so while she could control it, she mostly just kept it away from her body. 

    I didn't want to tell my mother the truth, that I was friends with Cassie because she'd seen my inner demon and had managed to fight it back. 

    All Nightmares have Inner demons. Learning to control them is how the strong distinguish themselves from the weak. I can't control mine, no matter how hard I try, and I'm terrified that one day it'll break loose in the middle of town. 

  What scares me the most is the idea that if I lose control, I'll destroy Estellia. Nobody, not even Cassie, knows this, but when I was about eight I saw the Shadow leader walk up to me in an illusion and say, "Be careful, all of Estellia depends on you knowing what reality is, and on you making sure the humans know it as well."

   I don't know what he meant, but I read everything I could find about it in school. My mother wonders why. She says that I'm not a god, so I shouldn't be concerned with the construction of Dreamworlds. 

   But I always worry. My inner demon will never go away. 

The Gods

 My mother always told me I'd serve the Gods someday. She'd pick me up and say "Alex, you and I are part of a long line of avatars. The power that holds Estellia together flows through your veins the same way it does mine. Someday you will wield a bit of power from the gods, if not become an avatar of the gods yourself." 

     There are four gods in Estellia, one for each race, except for humans of course. All of the gods gain power from their respective bloodline. I'm proud of my bloodline, but I don't think it's proud of me. 

  We do our best to respect the gods where I live. Disrespecting a human may bring you power, disrespecting a Nightmare will bring you pain, and disrespecting a god will mean the end of your days after all. Ever since I was little my parents have drilled into me that you absolutely, positively, can't screw up around a god. Because unless you're a god yourself, you won't live to see the next day. 

   

    My mother always told me to attack humans if I needed more power for whatever reason. She'd tell me, "Humans are always weak, and most of them are little more than cowards. If you attack them, they can't do anything to you. I can't say the same about any Nightmares you'll wind up facing. I don't care how weak they appear to be, they might be a Midnight Nightmare hiding their true strength for all you know. Don't risk it, and never anger another Nightmare."

   It's true that most, if not all, of the humans in the valley are weak. Most of the one's I've talked to say they've moved here for opportunity, then got trapped by labor laws. They all hate me. I don't have to worry about homelessness and loneliness the way they do. 

   Attacking humans makes me nervous though. Not only is there always the risk that they could be a Midnight Nightmare in disguise, there's always the possibility that they could go lucid. 

   I didn't know lucidity was a thing until Cassie showed me. It was just after Halloween, when nightmares are at their most powerful. My mother had heard about the strange human child who was entering our dreamlands borders, and told me to get rid of her, "Even someone like you should be able to do that." she said. 

   I didn't want to, of course. Cassie's the only person in all of Estellia who thinks I'm a nightmare of any sort of worth, though I don't know why she thinks that I'm one of the gods. I assume it's because she hasn't seen any of them up close the way I have. 

  I saw her enter the dreamland and moved to her spot the way my mother taught me. I'm not the strongest nightmare in the heartland, much less Estellia, but I know all of the standard tricks. I let off an attack, but she blocked it effortlessly. I wouldn't have found it strange, except she started glowing when she did it. 

   "What the heck was that?!" I said.

   "I went lucid to counter your attack." She said. She seemed to think I should already know that.

   "What do you mean you went lucid?" I asked.

   "It's when you remember that everything within the Infinite isn't real, so as long as you're in the Infinite or one of the dreamworlds." 

   "So you just change dreamworld willy-nilly. That's against the rules. You could be put in prison, or killed." I said.

    She looked at me like I was being stupid, "Alex, those rules only apply to Nightmares. They don't apply to humans. If I never become a Nightmare, the ones in charge can't do anything to me, so I can do whatever I want."

   I was about to say that wasn't true, but then I remember mother saying that one of the only things humans have over us was that they don't have to live under the laws, "Not that that's much of a blessing." 

   "What are you doing here?" I asked.

   "The same thing you're doing. I'm trying to pass the time until I wake up tomorrow."

    "Why are you sleeping to pass the time? Shouldn't you be at work or something?"

    Cassie looked panicked. "I should be. You won't tell anyone will you?"

    "Why aren't you working now?"

    "Because I have this issue where I need to sleep. If I don't sleep for more than three days, I collapse. If I collapse, then I might not wake up again for a week, and when I do wake up I stop being able to stay awake for more than about ten hours in a row."

    I'd heard this story a lot. Humans in the heartland often fake weakness to try and gain more power than they deserve. "Have you been tested for weakness?" I said, knowing I'd catch her.

   "No. I don't think it's weakness. With weakness you get really hungry and thirsty. I just get really sleepy. I know it looks at lot like it, but it's not the same thing. I wish I could explain that to my parents." 

   "No offense, but it doesn't sound like it's not weakness. I didn't get all that hungry until my mother started having me eat dinner with the rest of the family. Actually, it's not that I wasn't hungry, I just didn't realize how much I wanted food until I ate it, then I couldn't seem to stop."

   "Don't you eventually lose control of yourself if you deprive yourself of your weakness for too long? I don't fight for food when I don't eat. I don't think I've ever eaten a thing in my entire life, though I did have some coffee once. I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. It did help me stay awake, but I didn't like going to the bathroom afterwards. There's only one bathroom in the entire village, and nobody uses it so it never gets clean."

    I shuddered. My family and I all have weakness, so we all eat regularly. We have two bathrooms in the house and my mother and father insist on them being cleaned every day. 

   "Hey Alex," Cassie said, sounding like she was scared. "Don't get mad, but I think my parents are going to want to wake me up soon. I'll be back at some point." 

  "Okay." I said. "See you in a bit."

   I was walking back to village, the fake one my parents made for the locals to gather in the dreamworld, when one of my father's colleagues walked up to me. "Did you scare her off?" He asked.

   I realized that I'd been so focused on talking to Cassie that I'd forgotten to do that. "No." I said.

   He got big all of a sudden. Most monsters transform into their nightmare forms, but my father and his gang just get bigger to scare weak humans. "Why not?" He said.

   I could have told him the truth, but at that moment I suddenly realized that I didn't need to scare Cassie away. She was a human, but she'd just demonstrated that she wasn't weak. She was, after all, the only human I'd met who didn't play by the rules she wasn't required to follow any way. So I said, "I didn't want to."

   I think he tried to attack me. I don't really remember. What I do remember is pain, followed by red hot anger, ending with me standing over an unconscious man. I woke up, terrified, knowing that mother and father would see to it that I was punished, and dreading it.

  Miraculously though, I was spared. I found that out the next morning at breakfast, when my mother told me, "Your fathers work friend had a run in with our god. Alex, I know you like wandering around the valley, but I don’t want you going out there without permission anymore. It wouldn't be good if you angered the gods yourself."