There's a very specific kind of story that I absolutely love to find. They aren't hidden gems, they're the kind of films nobody wanted to watch for a reason, but they have just enough story and character for you to be able to make your own story around the existing material easily. I would love to live in a world where fanfiction writing was reserved for material that wasn't already extremely popular, or the lesser known works in a company's catalog. I feel like writers learn more from correcting other's mistakes than they do from existing writer's victories. 

All of Us

 If all of us have the power to change things,
Then it's up to 
All of us
To make the world a better place. 

My Extremely disorganized thoughts on Wish

      I'm one of the approximately ten people who saw a trailer for the latest Disney movie Wish. Of those ten people, I'm the single person who saw it and had an immediate and visceral "I have to see this movie when it comes out" reaction. When I went to see it today (well, yesterday as of the publication time), I was the only person who bought a ticket. I'd heard the rumors, I knew what I was in for, but I left the movie with the biggest grin on my face. I'm genuinely convinced that we'll have time travel in the future, because the only reason this film could have been made is if I financed it and wrote the script myself. It doesn't feel like a movie made for mass consumption, it feels like a movie made by me, for me, and I almost want to apologize for anyone else who went to see it because it's a little alarming to learn that I'm going to fall that far in the future. 

      I'm tempted to defend this movie, but as someone who watched some reviews of the movie after I left the theater that pointed out how bad it really is, with a bunch of points that I can't really argue against, that feels like the wrong call. Because yes, even I think that the goat is stupid and the supporting cast doesn't get enough characterization. Truth be told, this is a case where I love the premise for this film so much that it allows me to overlook any flaws in the execution. A young woman who finds out that her perfect world is actually deeply corrupt, seeks the power that will help, is branded a traitor, is almost destroyed by a bad guy much stronger than she is only to defeat him by harnessing her inner strength? Right up my alley. The one thing I would have changed would be to make the final fight between Asha and Magnifico be a bit more even, with a line or two from Asha telling Magnifico to eat dirt. Also, I feel like having Asha become the new wish granter of Rosas misses the point I feel this story should have, the point that a system can change and that power shouldn't be condensed into the hands of an individual. But I suppose it's asking too much of a greedy conglomerate to suggest that power ought to be shared with the masses. 

      To me, the thing that made this movie so powerful was its finale, where Magnifico has everyone pinned down and has captured Star. The moment when Asha remembers the song "I'm A Star" and has everyone start singing together and making wishes to take power back from Magnifico? That was incredible to me. I realize that particular beat has been done a hundred times in a hundred places, probably a lot better than this one, but in a world run by two-dimensional cartoon villains with no coherent motivations, it's nice to fantasize about a world where people aren't afraid to take power for themselves. I could be alone in thinking this, but I feel like the movie's overall theme is about power, about what it means to have power and about learning not to be afraid to take it for yourself. You'll notice that Asha goes from being a full supporter of the status quo, to someone who just wants more power for herself and those she trusts, to someone who fights on behalf of everyone in Rosas. I also really like how the Queen was able to see what an asshole her husband was and decide for herself that what he wanted wasn't okay, and decided to stand up on behalf of her own people. Mostly because, even now, I want to believe that our leaders are capable of seeing when they've made mistakes and growing as people. 

      My impression of this film when I first saw the trailer was that it was an incredible story trapped in a film made by Disney executives, and that's exactly what I got. Enough people have talked shit about this film that I do wonder if I'm crazy, but I'll stand by my belief that if you're able to look past this films problems (and to be fair, there are a lot of them), you'll find something special. Some people have called this film a children's film, implying that it's just a film for little kids, but I don't feel like that's an accurate descriptor of this film. It feels more like a film made by a kid. It feels like a story written by a novice writer with a strong vision of a story without the skills to quite flesh it out, someone who doesn't have enough skills to write within a template, and enough knowledge to know when to go outside it. I don't regret going to see it in the theater, but I wish that Disney had just cut it's losses and put it on streaming, because this isn't a film for film buffs. This is a film for those who like stupid stories told poorly with just enough heart that you love them regardless. 

Egomania

 A hero,
Blessed by the gods of old,
Destined to arrive 
And save us 
From ourselves. 

All of us know them,
All of us know 
The day will come
When, in an instant
They will strike down the villain.

All of us know
That they aren't real.

But all of us 
Believe in them regardless.

Ego
Drives us to believe
The best in ourselves and others
Regardless of how often we're proven wrong.
No matter how often darkness falls
We keep believing that the sun will rise
Once more.

But now we know for certain
That no hero will save us
From our fate.

So why not bless ourselves?
Why not take up the sword 
The hero will never use,
And slay the monsters
Only we seem to see?
Why should we sit in silence
And watch as strangers
Take our world from us?

If it was our egos 
That let us believe in heroes,
Why can't we use it
To believe in ourselves? 

     I know that it's easy to believe that reality was built by someone for us, but it wasn't. I can't prove this, but I'd be willing to bet big money that one day we'll figure out that reality exists the way that society exists; a collection of dreams that came together based on the things they had in common to become a world that everything within it could believe in. All of the pieces are there, I'm just waiting for the day someone else besides me figures this out. Now, more than ever, we have to remember this, for as long as we remain willfully blind, we won't be able to argue on our behalf, no matter how desperate we become. 

     To anyone reading my blog, I want you to remember that our world isn't real. It's a world that we believe in, that we agree upon, that allow to exist. It exists only with our permission, with our hope that its existence will allow us to have meaning and purpose. It has failed in giving us any of those things. In light of that, it's time to dream of a new world. So abandon reality, this idea that there's an external, objective world that limits who we are and who we're allowed to be. Give yourself to the Dreamworld, for it, and it alone, will be enough to protect you from the Infinite. 

The Thief of Time

What is it like to have so much power
That you can steal the concept
Of time itself?

     It's Thanksgiving, if you live in the United States, the time when we're supposed to practice gratitude and eat turkey. I'm doing the latter, the only thing I can think of to be grateful for is that I'm not dead, and it's hard to be grateful to be alive unless you're insanely wealthy these days. 

Jewelry

 Do I really want
All of this jewelry?
Or do I simply want to live in a world
Where I don't have to work to earn it? 

    Writing about our present is hard. I have all sorts of opinions on things that might happen, but I have no opinions on what will happen. Fascism is taking up the news, but how am I supposed to fight it when I don't think any of our options are good ones? I feel like the best way to describe our world is as a dysfunctional community of people of an unspoken understanding that everyone lies and nobody questions it. We're so detached from reality we can't even have a conspiracy anymore.

Rebirth (Do-over)

 Is it possible for someone to change?
Is it possible to wake up
And find you aren't who you thought you were?
Can you really decide
To change your mind?

Are humans metal,
Destined to be forged into something new?
Are we stone,
Doomed to be worn down
By the sands of time?

If we make a mistake then should we course correct,
Or accept that forgiveness is beyond our grasp?

How can one be reborn?

We know the world does not love us.
We know the world does not care.
We know the world will be gone, with nobody left to remember us buy.
In spite of this, we keep going,
Every day of our lives, fighting a battle we know we can't win.
In the simple act of living, we perform an immense feat of bravery;
The act of living a normal life.

Now it's time to leave that behind.
Now it's time to embrace cowardice, 
To fight to change the world, 
To make it the world we want the most.
Now is the time for us to take our fate
Into our hands.

Let us leave the past behind us.
Let us leave the old ways to the ancients who understood them.
Let us embrace this brave new world,
A world that belongs to us all. 

     I may not think that everything will turn out okay, but I'm choosing to believe in the future that I'm building. One where, against all odds, AI actually helps us, we find a belief system that doesn't turn us against each other, everyone feels free to say what's on their minds, and everyone is free to pursue what makes them happy. It's hard for me to feel optimistic, but maybe the loss of the future I was doomed to live in means that it's possible for me to have the future that I want. 

     It's been a bad few months. I know that I'm not the only one questioning our governments legitimacy at this moment in time, nor am I the only person asking questions about how safe I am in this country. Hell, woman who, unlike me, are at risk of getting pregnant have been asking questions about that for over a year. I'm not the type who does well in uncertainty, and I genuinely don't know if we'll still be a united country by the end of next year. I could be wrong, but at this point I have so little faith in our leaders to right this sinking ship that I almost want us to fall apart just to get it over with. I wish that I could say that I envy people who say we should believe, but I don't think that they're happy, I just think that they're in denial. 

What's Inside

 If what's on the inside truly counts,
Why am a only every complimented
For the beauty that's visible
From without?

     Do you think the people in tech realize that they're advocating for an AI overlord of some sort, while doing everything to make sure that AI integration into society is guaranteed to be a disaster? I might almost admire their cunning, if any of them had shown any long term thinking skills. 

Money

 If only I could have
All the money in the world,
Then I wouldn't have to worry about anything
Except those who will kill me to get it.

     I've decided that for the rest of the year, I'm going to practice gratitude. I think things are going to get a lot worse soon, and I want to enjoy the good times as much as I can for as long as I can. I strongly advise anyone who reads my blog to do the same. I don't think we'll be able to hold together for much longer. 

Opinions

 The greatest luxury;
Saying what you
Want to say
Without fear.
Speaking up,
The voice inside
Stays quiet.

But most of us don't have that,
Most of us must listen
As the voice inside,
Unable to be heard,
Screams for light and freedom.

Or else,
It suffocates.
Dying for lack
Of sustenance.
Of the reminder
That what it wants
Is important.

The greatest luxury;
To have an opinion,
And to know 
That no one can take it from you. 

     It's time to put the world on alarm; I don't believe in our government anymore. I'm someone who expects a lot from people and needs the world to be stable, so if anyone was going to lose faith in our government, it would be me. The truth, though, is that the rest of the United States isn't far behind me, and if we all lose the ability to believe in our government, either our politicians or the systems we use to elect them, who wins the election next November will be the least of our worries. If we want to survive, our government needs to know, now, that we won't stand for it's behavior. If it doesn't, we'll have no choice but to face the Infinite. 

    I get the feeling that our media is trying as hard as it can to lie about what people really think about Israel's decision to commit a genocide. It's not us that it's lying to, it's our politicians, elected and otherwise. Our politicians, it would seem, are the only people in the United States with the right to never see the Infinite in their lives, a right they extend to as few people as they can. 

Beauty

 I never knew what it meant 
When I heard people say
That true beauty comes from within.
Now I know it means that true beauty is something
That can't be stolen from you,
No matter how hard the world tries to take it. 

     I feel like the best way to experience society these days is through less legitimate means. It's the only way things stick around and form communities, after all. 

Celebration

 What do we celebrate
When our world ages?
Do we celebrate the fact that it's still here,
Or do we celebrate that it's still able to change?

    It would be nice if the world only broke in one area at a time. I feel like being moral means needing to balance twenty different needs at once. If we were allowed to choose between the causes we cared about, I feel like capitalism would be much easier to stomach. 

My Ambition

 Someday I'll be famous,
My name will be known
Wherever I go.

Someday I'll be rich,
I'll have enough money
To buy
Whatever I want,
So long as I don't want too much.

Someday I'll know
That I won't have to settle
For what I have today.
Because I'll know
For a fact
That tomorrow I'll have more. 

    It's the end of Daylight savings time, for the year at least. Now the sun's going to set even earlier. Still, I can't complain about an extra hour of sleep. 

    I wish that it was possible to just vote for the things that matter to you and not have to worry that you might accidently undermine the foundation of government if you vote for the wrong person. The biggest decisions I make all year feel meaningless, but running a dead end blog feels important. I want to be able to dream that my cause will win for a change. Why does our current system make that impossible? 

A Window to the Past

Looking at my computer,
Writing more nonsense,
Trying to find a way to pass the time
Before a window to the past
Opens. 

     Why is it that unless you're really rich, really famous, or both, you aren't allowed to shape the world the way you want to? I know that not everyone can become president, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to buy shampoo without deforesting Asia if that's what I want, and I should be able to buy used goods without enabling Ableist systems. Is there any politician in the world who will stand up for Transgender people? Is there anyone who cares about the plight of racial minorities who isn't non-white themselves. Apparently, only ten percent of the population of America needs to believe in a world for it to be real. Everyone else can go get stuffed. 

Newton and Leibnitz

Two men,
Hundreds of miles apart,
Found the same answer 
When they asked a question.
How many people must reach a conclusion
Before we know that it's true?